Well, I can't see the difference between basing a religion on some fictitious, fanciful notion portrayed in a work of fiction, and any other religion (which tend to be fictitious, fanciful notions portrayed in works of fiction)

Oh, actually, I can think of one difference - I'm guessing the Jedi folk won't be trying to subjugate and control the masses in order to fuel their own personal megalomaniac tenancies.

Now that should be an interesting fight on a friday night if they have a shared "local" ,

the Hordes of Xenu vs. the Knights of the Republic!

21 years old?

A certain Mr Pegg has a few things to say about this:

"...You don't know what it was like, you weren't there at the beginning, you don't know how important it was...

<Bailey> But what about the Ewoks, they were rubbish...

...Jah Jah Binks makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft!"

21 year old Jedi master my fucking arse.

BTW it IS only a film...

Slightly grubby with coke and pizza stains???

Sounds like your typical Star Wars-obsessed geek working at your local helldesk to me.

pseudo-religious, science fiction based mumbo-jumbo will people fall for next. (It was just a MOVIE! GET OVER IT!) Before you know it it'll be attracting all sorts of celebrities, swearing by it's precepts.

What?

That's happened already?

Surely not?

Well I never.

"I'm guessing the Jedi folk won't be trying to subjugate and control the masses in order to fuel their own personal megalomaniac tenancies."

Or we won't notice it if they are. Because these are not the megalomaniacs we're looking for.

Actually, according to the 6-part DVD documentary I own, they do turn bad sometimes...

"Well, I can't see the difference between basing a religion on some fictitious, fanciful notion portrayed in a work of fiction, and any other religion"

Obviously neither do the scientologists *sigh*

Then theres the bible... We all remember what happened when they found the first page...

"Good evening. Here is the news on Friday, the 27th of Geldof. Archeologists near Mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible. The page is currently being carbon-dated in Bonne. If genuine, it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to read, "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental." The page has been universally condemned by church leaders."

George Lucas on the other hand... Now just because the stories were delivered to him in the company of Ewoks by a gold plated android does not mean they are any less real!

How does Darth Vader know what Luke got for Christmas?

Answer; he felt his presents.

Brown cloak already on...

"lovely there is, boyo"

To be honest, I can find nothing wrong with this. Good luck to them.

@Fraser : "BTW it IS only a film..." : yes, but the Bible and Koran are just books. Both written when they still believed the world was flat.

While it was "just a film", putting 'Jedi' on one's census was a good way to register a protest at the government's plans to turn us into a religious state. When people really <i>do</i> take it seriously, though, we secularists have a problem. Any suggestions as to how we can register a protest at the next census?

Where's the money at?

fleecing wannabees ain't a crime and it's catering to the 'needs' of a potentially affuent client-base... and i bet they get business grants too..

there's money in them there geeks!

Paris, cos we need a Paris Academy.. no wait, that's over in Essex

Given when I see multi-faith charts I dont see Jedi upon them.

When somebody goes to do jury service, no copy of Star Wars can be found to allow a Jedi to swear in so they a forced to afirm.

Well, given those two facts alone, how long until they sue for descrimination, as for me it will put the whole relegion thing into perspective.

He is mighty and will deliver us from this land in his ship of plenty that sometimes doesn't work unless you wallop it.

Walloping things makes them work.

IIRC it was in Romania.

So how's that been getting on with these days??

Actually, if it's just about becoming a better person through martial arts, meditation, and general self-improvement, I think you'll find a rather large number of martial arts schools throughout the country can already teach this, with the added bonus of genuine expert (read older, more experienced) instructors.

Not the kick-boxing places that just teach you to kick and punch, obviously, but find a decent Wu Shu, Bushido school etc and you're in business.

Setting his sights a little low surely?

Wouldn't "This is going galactic." be more realistic?

Maybe they could help out with the errant satellite too.

On the next census, we could all put Neo/The One.

: Any suggestions as to how we can register a protest at the next census?

Put "Sith"

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

"Any suggestions as to how we can register a protest at the next census?"

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Invisible Pink Unicorn

Bob

Well you could try 'pagan' 'witch' 'wicca' ' blairite' or as a real laugh

conservative, labour, or liberal.

Just as much a faith in a fanciful work of fiction and I guess therefore a religion

I think it's just a cheap trick to get high ranking jobs in the police...

Because that's the only way these guys will ever get to "use the force".

BTW: "Paris, cos we need a Paris Academy.. no wait, that's over in Essex" -- NO, that /is/ Essex.

Mine is the brown robe hanging next to that purple light-sabre.

Whilst Star Wars geeks maybe the template for grubby underpants wearing, spotty nerds of film fan-dom, nothing and I mean nothing, beats the utter level sadness that is Lord of the Rings fans; Star Wars fans are ambassadors or dignity compared that lot.

are they teaching lightsabre techniques?? I mean, really, HOW??

"OK, imagine this stick is actually a lightsabre. Now I'm going to teach you certain techniques that would only work if it WAS a lightsabre, and you also have telekinetic Force powers. Which of course you do."

As a martial artist, I want to sit in on one of these just for the grins.

...Afterall the dark lord of the sith is here in the white house, Bush and his apprentice Blair. (Now spreading the word...)

Just how the hell do you train using a technology that doesn't exist? And those Jedi mind tricks? How many of those geeks are going to get the living crap beaten out of them because they ignored the second half of their fight or flight response in favour of pseudo-mind control when face-to-face with their enemies? Spare us.

"On the next census, we could all put Neo/The One"

Shouldn't that be 'the path of Neo'?

How about 'the way of Gordon'? - just in case the Combine *do* turn up...

Or (my personal favourite) 'Kama Sutra; make love not war' - bringing about global peace through spreading the love in a variety of interesting ways...

Mine's the one with the jumbo pack of Durex in the pocket...

"...Just how the hell do you train using a technology that doesn't exist? And those Jedi mind tricks?..."

Ah, I see you do not believe.... This is why you fail (*), young Saunders...

(*) ...or maybe you've just got your head screwed on? :-)

Is a girlfriend.

Paris, of course.

@ P Saunders

This element should help to enrich the gene pool. Expect to see one of these 'Jedi' in the "Darwins" in the not too distant future (about 2 years, after they complete their 'training'!)

You could try "Bright" (http://www.the-brights.net/)

Anyhoo. Sounds like an excuse for a bit of a laugh. Can't honestly see them trying to use their "powers" for real, and it's a reasonable way to find a bunch of like-minded people to have a giggle with down the pub. In my younger days I'd probably have been up for it myself...

Praise Bob indeed.

From my understanding, neuro-linguistic programming isn't so much "these are not the droids you're looking for; move along" as choosing words, tones, etc to diffuse a situation.

It works, but then from experience so does pointing over their shoulder, shouting "UNEXPECTED SHEEP!" and legging it to a taxi rank.

And Lightsaber technique would be, I'd assume, similar to the swordsmanship techniques of old. Except with a pretty powerful gyroscope in the handle to make it a little more "realistic".

As someone further up said, imagine the LOTR equivalent... "right, wear these furry slippers and carry this nice heavy osmium ring round your neck, then lets walk for a week or two.", or nights out where 20 furry-slippered nerds shuffle up to the bar, order a few lagers and declare loudly "IT COMES IN PINTS?!"

I think it's not a bad idea- if they are truly promoting peace and order - hopefully not with a blend of Lucas-style capitalism. I say go for it, but I think the usage of the word 'church' is probably a bad idea. Not only does it suggest some hidden Christian undertone, it may turn people away by association of the word. Jedi Temple, being the description used within the star wars universe, would seem to me to have been a better choice.

At the end of the day, Jedi, Scientology, Christian etc. are all just a label used to try and describe what someone believes in a general context. Whilst in this day and age, it's become very popular to ridicule all religions, actually having a belief and living to a better moral code is nothing to be ashamed of.

They're not actively trying to turn others to their beliefs, nor do they seem to be trying to con people out of their money. All in all, rather benign and not worth worrying about!

. . . then you need to be reminded of David Ike.

As Yoda might say (if he wasn't CGI and latex) "Life you need to get a".

If any census needs to know my religion, I religiously believe in Murphy's law. Therefore religion gets marked as 'Murphist'

"Life you need to get a".

Shouldn't that be

"A life you need to get, umm".

no.we cant give them real lightsabers.. but i do believe they need to spar with live steel, sharpened to as fine an edge as possible. real lightsabres are deadly. we owe it to their training to make it as realistic as possible. not only will the steel inflict injury, but as they are being used for lightsabre simulation, any limb suffering a wound will be amputated and the stump cauterized. in case of a torso or head injurty, the wounded trainee will be killed in an object lesson designed to teach the students how deadly serious the use of a lightsabre is, encouraging them to focus on peaceful resolutions to problems

Tsk tsk keep that comment to the Wiccan's. Don't include the Pagans and Witches in there. (Big difference between us and Wiccans.) And yes some do believe in some weird rubbish, but some of us (Traditional Witches for example) believe in more sensible things.

Fair point about the political parties though. lol

So - you're a witch then?

At this point I am very eager to hear in great detail all about the "sensible things" you believe in. Not because I'm interested, but more for the inevitable onslaught of derision that only Reg readers can unleash.

Game on.

PS - please don't put a spell on me via the magic of TCP/IP

UNEXPECTED SHEEP is brilliant!

A friend of my father used to get into cricket matches through the members' entrance by saying "PRENATAL BIRTH" quickly. Simply befuddle people and their linguistic centres crash and need to reboot. I hear unexpected quotes of Shakespeare help in this respect.

My judo teacher allways said doing the 100 m (714.28571 lg) dash in 12 seconds or less was the best self-defense, but first resetting your opponents brain helps a treat.

@ Adrien

that would be "Murphyite" (anything that can go wrong, will), and for the devout practitioner, "High-Church Murphyite" (most things go wrong, given time - consider a government, any government...).

technologists have a special affinity for the way of Murphy, because we study and maintain arcane, complex systems for a living. engineers used to be the only known practicing Murphyites, but progress and entropy have made the faith much more pervasive.

...bestowed upon them the title of Jedi Master exactly, did Lucas pop over and give them his blessing!?

Anybody have a midichlorian counter gadget I could borrow?

They may not currently be as insidious as the Scientologist nuts, but they sound like a bunch of chancers out to extort cash from certain fat people, you know, ones who feature in internet video virals poncing around with plastic light sabers. This IS how scientology started out.

...But I suppose its no different to handing your cash over to Linden Labs or Blizzard entertainment.

Ah. We are all Masters now of ourselves and our logic therefore.

So, anyone want to get together and start The Real Church of Mathematics?

Anyone planning to build a "death star" anytime soon?

Stop faking the sith.

Sorry, better get my good teeth in...

Oh come on, surely you know the way to find out rather than just *asking* if he's a witch!

Will there be classes in Sith studies?

I'd imagine you would need to be an advanced Jedi Master then specialize in Sith.

"Or we won't notice it if they are. Because these are not the megalomaniacs we're looking for."

Or because they will have mind-tricked us into believing that they aren't.

The helmet and astmathic vocal chords please.

Obviously the Sith courses would be Knight classes....

PS Since my longer answer didn't get through:

Frasier, I completely agree (is the sarcasm tag on?)! How DARE grown ups have fun and play about!!! We are meant to be SERIOUS and SENSIBLE grown ups! Leave playing for the children!!!!

My point was that if they are 21 they aren't old enough to truly appreciate Star Wars and probably saw the one with Jah Jah Binks first, or something. I, however, saw 'A New Hope' in the cinema... Admittedly some knowledge of Spaced would help understand what I was on about.

I still stand by my <ahem> borrowed comment regarding to Jah Jah Binks.

"Any suggestions as to how we can register a protest at the next census?"

Two possibilities come to mind; one is the Disciples of St. Vidicon, or Vidiconite in the vernacular. This one you may be able to look up at your local purveyor of printed matter.

The other is Caledonian Universal Nihilist Trappists, and I'll leave it to the Gentle Reader to figure out the common abbreviation.

Unfortunately for the future of mankind, the young kids of today actually *like* Jar Jar.

One hopes that this is a sign of immaturity rather than extensive and long-term brain damage.

PS Han shot first!!!!

Another hokey religion!

Mine's the wookie skin coat please...

of the Murphyites believe that the High Church Murphyites are optimists of the highest order. Maxwellians are very devout and can often be heard talking to God in hushed tones when accountants and HR people are presenting their vission of the future.

Paris, because her time in jail proved that simple machines CAN go wrong.

"I'm guessing the Jedi folk won't be trying to subjugate and control the masses in order to fuel their own personal megalomaniac tenancies."

That is the main plot of the films!

@ Haywood

funny, the High Church Murphyites say the same thing about the Maxwellians, because the High Church teaches not the existence of the Sky Fairy (God). it kinda makes sense, because if (S)He/(It) existed, one could pray to the omnipotent and omniscient Sky Fairy for more optimal results. this theory is not supported by empirical evidence, and flies in the face of the High Church creed.

i'm with the High Church on this one; personally, i'd have to be much more of an optimist to believe in a Sky Fairy.

Morely Dotes wrote:

"Two possibilities come to mind; one is the Disciples of St. Vidicon, or Vidiconite in the vernacular. This one you may be able to look up at your local purveyor of printed matter."

Cathodian, actually...

http://vidicon.dandello.net/vidicon.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Vidicon

Pre-smoke-test prayer;

"Saint Vidicon of Cathode protect me from Murphy" while making the ohm sign on your chest with the thumb of your right hand and following it with the 'Thumbs Up' sign.

I plead way too many years of boring graveyard shift relieved by copious amounts of SF of which Stasheff's works played a part.

It's the insulated Black Coveralls with the White Collar and little yellow screwdriver in the right breast pocket, thanks...

Eventually there will be an ideological split in the jedi temple

Power vs. Mercy

Then we'll be sorry!

for the first Bene Gesserit Chapter House to open, thank you.

has half the calories!

thank you robot chicken

old style snorkel with my mittens on string

If these guys take even one tenth of one percent of those who would otherwise have fallen into the clutches of $cientology, then in my opinion they will have done the world (and the recruits) a great service.

Your disbelief in a higher power is based on the assumption that said higher power is benevolent, all-powerful, understands and faithfully answers all prayers, and is not prone to practical jokes.

Any Murhpyite should know that if there is, in fact, a powerful spirit able to act on behalf of humans, that He or She does not always do so according to the wishes of the Murhpyite in question. If He or She does help sometimes but not always (for whatever reason), the help will stop at the worst possible time. If He or She opposes your goal intermittently, the opposition will likewise come at the worst possible time. If humor is involved, your goals will be squashed when it is found by the deity in question to be most humorous, which is typically when it causes the Murphyite the most problems.

Therefore, a true Murphyite should know that the question of any deity not under supplication to the Murphyite is moot, as the Rule of Murphy will determine the interaction of the deity with the Murhpyite. How could it be otherwise, as the true Murphyite believes in the Rule of Murphy as an absolute?

I personally follow Apatheism. I simply don't care if there is a god or not. I'd form a church, but I really couldn't be arsed...

That would probably go against the whole ethos anyway.

/An Apatheist

True. I know a LOTR fan who overshoots any Jedi fan.

@Gabor Laszlo: I am the Kwisatz Haderach!

@Fraser: I'm 26, and while 2 out of 3 movies were already out, I was able to watch the *entire trilogy* on the big screen, sometime around 1985. Which is definitely more bearable than the 10+ hour LOTR trilogy. And I've also seen "Spaceballs", which seems to be unknown to newer generations :)

Protests on census: Try "Pastafarianism", "Sith", or "Schwartz". Personally, I'd go for "Spockism": LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!! ;)