GCHQ's exploding doughnut threatens to ooze into innocent field

Uncontrollable g-men crawl to local council on bended knee

GCHQ's £330m headquarters in Gloucestershire, which was built in 2003, is already inadequate for the jam-packed Doughnut's workers – leading the agency to apply for planning permission to build more offices on its car park.

The new building would be located on GCHQ's existing site, and its 4,500m² will be spread across "a three-storey structure with a rectangular floor plate," according to the planning permission application as reported in the Gloucestershire Echo.

As the spooks are building on a car park, they have also requested permission to build a new car park over a lovely green field on the site.

The planning permission application revealed the spooks' sincere respect for architectural harmony, stating the new office's "exterior finish wills seek to echo the main building to ensure it is in keeping with its surroundings and help minimise the visual impact."

GCHQ had previously applied for planning permission for a multi-storey parking garage in 2008. The Echo states that the 2008 application was granted, but expired before GCHQ had pushed ahead with the construction.

The spooks' application to Cheltenham Borough Council stated that the intelligence agency was letting that particular idea go, as it was "aware of the need to minimise impact and maximise benefit to the operation of the Benhall site."

GCHQ has proposed the building as "temporary" and states it will be demolished in five years, although the lovely green field will go forever, being replaced by a handsome 261 parking spaces. ®