Not content with frying your brains and digging a hole in your bank balance, mobiles are now also loosening the nation's bowels.
This is according to research by Tony Bernstein from the Pure Air Company.
After kindly subjecting mice to mobile phone use, Bernstein discovered that the radiation emitted could have a "laxative effect".
But for those not wanting their bowels mobile, Bernstein has developed a cure.
For only £29, you can buy a bean-shaped, lightweight capsule that sends out a signal to counter the radiation, according to an article tucked away at the rear end of today's FT.
There was no mention of whether it was a runner bean. ®