The wife of Lord Burford, Canadian Louise Robey, has posted a message on her fan site detailing the breakdown of her marriage and slamming Britain's aristocracy whom she has been forced to endure socially.
The red-headed Canadian who can only be described as a "colourful character" became a tabloid favourite when they found out she was a rock singer and had been a soft porn actress. Her husband - an Earl - became nearly as notorious when he leapt on the Woolsack in the House of Lords and exclaimed "Treason!" when the government was trying to push hereditary peers out of Parliament.
However the message to her fan site, www.louiserobey.com, has outdone anything she's done before. In it she speaks candidly of her marriage: "My husband and I are having some marital difficulties," she starts, before explaining that it's all down to Britain's aristocracy. In fact, the whole message is worth reading so we'll run it below:
"I have found it difficult living within the aristocracy in this country. They have never really genuinely accepted me as one of them. I like to talk to people and I don't need to be introduced to do so. I hadn't realized that the only acceptable conversation for a countess was the weather and greeting Dukes with the expression 'How's it hanging' and 'Are you getting a divorce and are you two getting married? [He appeared to be with his mistress] seems socially unacceptable?
"I had so much to learn and so little time that I am afraid I suspect that I have made a bit of a hash of things. Also they seem to have a problem with 'Twisted Sister' lyrics let alone 'Cradle of Filth' both of which I'm involved with professionally. Ah yeah, one other thing before I forget, they always say 'what exactly is it that you do?' Oh Shit... well that's when the real trouble starts. I can't handle it and I don't know how to hang with these people anymore. I just get mad cos it's so low energy and you know me! Besides I'm in love. Charles pulled my child away from me today in the studio car park and drove off with him without saying what where or when so I suppose it's over."
Then she comes out with a killer line: "So if I ever go with another guy called Earl I'm gonna make damn sure he's black or something."
Louise, we salute you. The picture of Britain's toffs being confronted with her asking how it was hanging is just too much. We can only hope that someone makes a film of it. ®