So great was the response to our recent appeal for the world's longest email disclaimer that we have decided to celebrate the best of the bunch in six categories. The organisations responsible will be awarded a coveted Vulture Central 'Dafta' for their contribution to international timewasting:
- Longest Disclaimer
- Most Incomprehensible Disclaimer
- Most PC Disclaimer
- Best Bi-lingual Disclaimer
- Best Spoof Disclaimer
- Special Award for Best WWW Disclaimer
However, before we ask our winners to mount the podium, we must print the following, submitted by Tim Lee. It's a good example of several similar offerings submitted. See if you can spot the problem:
The information in this email is confidential and is intended solely for the addressee(s). Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorised. If you are not an intended recipient, you must not read, use or disseminate the information contained in the email. Any views expressed in this message are those of the individual sender, except where the sender specifically states them to be the views of Capco.
Naturally, this appears after the message. So, by the time you get to it, you've already accessed the email without authority. And you've read it when you weren't supposed to. Now you're in trouble, aren't you? Better get on a plane to South America sharpish.
Now, on with the awards. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for:
UBS Warburg romp home with an astounding 1081 words. Submitted by Cliff Hide.
Most Incomprehensible Disclaimer
Rathbone Investment Management reach new heights of obfuscation. Forwarded by a confused Oliver Clark.
Most PC Disclaimer
The London Borough of Southwark clamps down on just about everything. This entry courtesy of a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Guess who he or she works for...
Best Bi-lingual Disclaimer
Aberystwyth Guild of Students pushes back the envelope of Welsh e-vocabulary. Thanks to James Hart.
Best Spoof Disclaimer
No less than four readers sent us this witty ditty. You may have seen it already, but it still tickled our funny bone.
Special Award for Best WWW Disclaimer
Tim McElroy pointed us in the direction of www.off-road.com. If you're a dotcom CEO looking to avoid litigious readers, this'll do you nicely.
That concludes this year's Email Disclaimer Awards 2001. Reg t-shirts to all the eagle-eyed readers noted above. Good work one and all.