Chatham Girls – the online user guide

Everything you need to know about the UK's best-kept secret

Following on from our recent and highly-popular spotlight on Sheppey - The UK's fight capital, we thought that readers might enjoy an insight into nearby Chatham.

Forming, along with Gillingham and Rochester, the Axis of Banality that is the Medway Towns, Chatham is celebrated locally for the particularly high quality of its young ladies.

Sadly, the fame of the town's fillies has until now been restricted to an area roughly the size of Chatham itself. But no longer, thanks to Chatham Girls, a website dedicated to sharing with the world southern England's best-kept secret.

Suffice it to say, a quick peruse of this entertaining site will arm potential suitors with all of the information necessary to identify the girl of his dreams (gold clown necklace, diamonique earrings, gold shoes and Umbro sweatshirt), and - crucially - communicate with her in the native dialect (Arrrrr in ney luvlee. Dare faakin gorwljus innay = My, your earrings are quite exquisite).

So, if you've got un x r free innit an itz a wun a dem conver'eebal wunz innit lite and fancy a quick burn down the A2 in search of the ideal mate, look no further than Chatham Girls. Awite me chavvy! ®