Stolen mobile rings in ‘body cavity’

Would-be thief caught with knickers down

Our piece last week on the "Purring Kitty" mobile phone vibrator programme certainly found favour among many of our readers. This email, from Diana Lask, was typical of the feedback:

I simply wanted to say a nice "Thank You" for a story detailing a practical use of today's high tech gadgetry. I do believe that you should post more of these kinds of stories. Most definitely yes. Yes...YES...Oh MY GOD YEEESSS!

Another satisfied customer. However, we did receive an article from Jamaica's Western Mirror, dated 19 March, which nicely illustrates that while vibrating phones may have found a new niche market among the sexually frustrated, there are times when it is not advisable to conceal modern gadgetry in one's "body cavity".

Embarrassing does not even begin to describe this. Read on:

Stolen "Cellie" rings in vagina, by Vivian Tyson

Pandemonium broke out at a shopping mall in Negril on Monday, when a cellular phone which was stolen from a female shopper was found after it rang from within another shopper's vagina. Some bystanders were amused over the happenings, but some chided the young woman for sinking so low that she even embarrassed other women.

The event took place minutes past 1pm, when a woman went into a store in the popular Negril shopping centre, to purchase an item. On leaving the store, she realised she had left her cell phone inside after completing her transaction. According to eyewitnesses, the owner of the phone went back inside the building to retrieve her communication device but it was missing from the place that she had left it.

She queried about the phone but the operators and other customers who were inside the store said they did not see it. While the woman was searching for her phone, a woman who was acting quite suspiciously, was about to slip through the door when she was confronted about the incident. She denied knowledge of the missing phone before stepping outside, but the owner of the phone and others followed her outside and accosted her once more about the instrument. Once more, the nervous looking woman denied having knowledge of it.

A crowd had gathered by then and at that point, one of the women helping in the search to retrieve the cell phone asked the owner for the number and began dialling. When the connection was made, the phone was heard ringing between the woman's legs. She was then held and her underwear partially removed and the ringing/vibrating phone was found stuck in her body cavity.

The phone was plucked from its hiding place by the irate owner, who told the crowd she was going to have it properly sanitized before using it again. According to one man however, "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh."

Yes, we see your point. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Matthew Wrigley for sending us this astounding story.