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Whalesong-driven rebranding madness spreads to Spain
Quarantine fails to contain Strategy Boutiques
Well, despite the best efforts of the Spanish, it appears that the highly-infectious tendency to compose florid eulogies to corporate logos while listening to whalesong and engulfed in a joss-stick fuelled haze has crossed the Bay of Biscay and now threatens to ravage the entire Iberian Peninsula.
The first reported case comes from Barcelona, where albertis has succumbed to the deadly scourge. The company - which incorporates a provocative } as part of its logo - apparently manages more than 1,500 kilometres of motorways and 100,000 car parking spaces. In promoting these logistic spaces, it has projects up and running and future projects for over 470 hectares of lands to offer companies and logistics operators, in privileged locations such as the Mediterranean and in the North and South of Spain.
No, we're none the wiser either. However, it's a little rich to poke fun at the linguistic deficiencies of our European neighbours when the best the average holidaying Brit can offer is "Oi Pedro un beero y fish y chips pronto por favori".
That being said, if your command of the English language is a bit shaky, you really shouldn't try and tackle the advanced Strategy Boutique dialect, thus:
The abertis corporate identity is formed by the union of two intrinsically linked elements: the name, abertis, and its graphic expression, the key.
abertis comes from the concept of opening, from the Latin aperio, to open doors or new paths. abertis opens to new business perspectives, all related to infrastructures for personal mobility, goods and information.
The name abertis and the graphic development of the brand transmit the objective of the business group to manage communications infrastructures with quality, to the benefit of people and in harmony with the territory.
The abertis trademark must be associated with a value of permanence, a reflection of the vocation to last in time, to be involved in the management, to be part of the territory and invest in the long term.
Oh dear, oh dear. For the record, here is that last paragraph in both Castillian and Catalan, as rendered on the company's multi-lingual website:
La marca abertis debe asociarse a un valor de permanencia, reflejo de la vocación de perdurar en el tiempo, de implicarse en la gestión, vincularse al territorio e invertir a largo plazo.
La marca abertis s'ha d'associar a un valor de permanència, reflex de la vocació de perdurar en el temps, d'implicar-se en la gestió, de vincular-se al territori i d'invertir a llarg termini.
And there you have it. Can we now look forward to rioting French farmers blockading channel ports in a desperate attempt to prevent their own beloved native tongue being decimated by this madness? It seems inevitable. ®
Big up respect to reader Jason Paul Kazarian for spotting this lovely example of corporate hocus-pocus.