US engineers perfect butt-kicking machine

I get a kick out of you


A US engineering firm, Leavitt & Associates Engineers, has applied to patent a "Manually Self-Operated Butt-Kicking Machine". In simple terms, this is a chair with a hole in the seat combined with a kicking foot, all operated by the seat's occupant. It allows the operator to administer a "butt-kicking", should he or she feel it is appropriate.

The company says that it does not intend to bring the product to market, much to the relief, no doubt, of those working in the service industry. Instead, J. Reese Leavitt says, the chair will be rented out to groups for fundraising efforts. Tuning in perfectly to the mood of the time, office manager Sandy Burmeister told The Idaho Statesman: "Groups can use this to put someone dressed up like, say, Osama Bin Laden, and charge $1 to kick his butt."

Even leaving the wider political ramifications of the invention aside, it raises a few obvious questions. Such as "Why on earth would you build a butt kicking machine in the first place?" and "Aren't you supposed to be working?".

It all started as a bit of a joke. Original sketches were circulated at an apparently rather dull meeting. Somehow these were developed into more official schematics, with details including a size 15 steel toe-capped kicking boot. Fortunately for Osama impersonators everywhere, this was later replaced with a baseball boot.

Leavitt is keen to stress that this is not normal business for the firm. The whole thing has required an investment of $550. The team spent $250 on materials (including $40 on the shoe) and another $300 on filing for the patent. "My wife was concerned that by having this silly project, people might not realize we're a real engineering firm," he said.

You don't say. ®

Related stories

Porn-surfing nurse escapes with sack and caution
Lock down gambling sites, go to jail
HardOCP takes big stick to Infinium

Related links

The Company
Self Protection
Recovery


Other stories you might like

  • James Webb Space Telescope has arrived at its new home – an orbit almost a million miles from Earth

    Funnily enough, that's where we want to be right now, too

    The James Webb Space Telescope, the largest and most complex space observatory built by NASA, has reached its final destination: L2, the second Sun-Earth Lagrange point, an orbit located about a million miles away.

    Mission control sent instructions to fire the telescope's thrusters at 1400 EST (1900 UTC) on Monday. The small boost increased its speed by about 3.6 miles per hour to send it to L2, where it will orbit the Sun in line with Earth for the foreseeable future. It takes about 180 days to complete an L2 orbit, Amber Straughn, deputy project scientist for Webb Science Communications at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center, said during a live briefing.

    "Webb, welcome home!" blurted NASA's Administrator Bill Nelson. "Congratulations to the team for all of their hard work ensuring Webb's safe arrival at L2 today. We're one step closer to uncovering the mysteries of the universe. And I can't wait to see Webb's first new views of the universe this summer."

    Continue reading
  • LG promises to make home appliance software upgradeable to take on new tasks

    Kids: empty the dishwasher! We can’t, Dad, it’s updating its OS to handle baked on grime from winter curries

    As the right to repair movement gathers pace, Korea’s LG has decided to make sure that its whitegoods can be upgraded.

    The company today announced a scheme called “Evolving Appliances For You.”

    The plan is sketchy: LG has outlined a scenario in which a customer who moves to a locale with climate markedly different to their previous home could use LG’s ThingQ app to upgrade their clothes dryer with new software that makes the appliance better suited to prevailing conditions and to the kind of fabrics you’d wear in a hotter or colder climes. The drier could also get new hardware to handle its new location. An image distributed by LG shows off the ability to change the tune a dryer plays after it finishes a load.

    Continue reading
  • IBM confirms new mainframe to arrive ‘late’ in first half of 2022

    Hybrid cloud is Big Blue's big bet, but big iron is predicted to bring a welcome revenue boost

    IBM has confirmed that a new model of its Z Series mainframes will arrive “late in the first half” of 2022 and emphasised the new device’s debut as a source of improved revenue for the company’s infrastructure business.

    CFO James Kavanaugh put the release on the roadmap during Big Blue’s Q4 2021 earnings call on Monday. The CFO suggested the new release will make a positive impact on IBM’s revenue, which came in at $16.7 billion for the quarter and $57.35bn for the year. The Q4 number was up 6.5 per cent year on year, the annual number was a $2.2bn jump.

    Kavanaugh mentioned the mainframe because revenue from the big iron was down four points in the quarter, a dip that Big Blue attributed to the fact that its last mainframe – the Z15 – emerged in 2019 and the sales cycle has naturally ebbed after eleven quarters of sales. But what a sales cycle it was: IBM says the Z15 has done better than its predecessor and seen shipments that can power more MIPS (Millions of Instructions Per Second) than in any previous program in the company’s history*.

    Continue reading

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022