Letters We've never shied away from controversy, so, in keeping with the spirit of the fightin' Reg, let's kick off letters with a scoot through Segwayville, and see what you lot made of the Segway poll:
You missed out;
Toy for sad people with more money than sense.
Usually bought by people who have a iMac, iPod, and think that they are being "alternative". Sinclair's C5 was far more fun to drive but both are dangerous anywhere near traffic, pedestrians, in fact anywhere outside an empty parking lot.
You left the obvious entry off the poll "The Segway is a Sinclair C4 wannabe".
I'm concerned regarding your recent segway poll, or rather, the results thereof. You see, while I understand that it's pretty much a hush-hush thing, especially here in the states, with Segways lurking around, well, if not every corner, or even most corners, then at least a few of them. But only 10% of the respondents are apparently both aware and brave enough to admit that these fiendish devices are GOING TO KILL US A
Ed? Ed? are you there? Man-eating Segway on rampage etc...
CowboyNeal is my Segway you insensitive clod!
Lester - I think the Segway poll is very funny and look forward to seeing the final results. While the Segway for most people is probably just a recreational toy, I think the earth-friendly aspects of the technology are exciting. My husband and I both own one and use them to get to and from work every day (making our car a very sad little car who never gets to see the light of day anymore). That being said, we also enjoy participating in a polo game or two, because it is just plain fun. Keep up the funny writing and enjoy the responses from owners. We are, like many other early adopters, passionate about technology and just want to see our beloved machines viewed in the best light possible.
"Mechanical representation of democracy."
Did you mean it's a big disappointment or George Bush makes it fall over?
Or perhaps you meant it's forced upon us by some self-righteous Americans, whether we want it or not...
Adam, you are just too clever by half.
Bravo, the poll is brilliant! Just one problem...no catagory with Segway as a target on tires. I propose Segway target shooting as a new Olympic sport, right after shotgunning motorized traffic barriers and cyberloos. It's man against machine, and we have the firepower. Lets use it! We ought to start at the Chicago branch of Vulture Central and move south on the Dan Ryan Expressway or west on the Kennedy, or even north on the Edens. The only good Segway is a dead Segway!
There was some discussion of equiping the Chicago PD with them (bad idea, no place for the donut and coffee).
Nope -- Ashlee was right. Segways are for ar*eholes. Frankly though the thought of wanting to see a load of bucked-teeth hillbillies trying to chase a little ball on a Segway is unhealthy at this point...
Given the usual healthy spirit of democracy, free speech and fair play usually present in your eseemed organ, imagine my disgust when I tried to exercise my democratic right to vote in the segway poll but was denied on the basis that someone else behind the same corporate firewall (i.e. with the same external IP address) as me had already voted.
surely such a seasoned bunch of technophiles as yourselves would not be so short-sighted as to infer an isomorphic relationship between an individual voter and an IP address.
It is clear to me that the only way to ensure a fair vote on this subject (and indeed to put right some of the atrocities incorrectly reported in the recent air guitar poll) is to ensure that each reg reader is uniquely identified and authenticated by means biometric or otherwise, to wit, some kind of identity card system.
So please stop the madness and let's all work to get blunkett's scheme implemented with all possible speed, so that a fair and equal vote for all is available in future register polls.
I remain your humble servant
disgusted of doncaster
We knew there had to be a credible argument in favour of ID cards out there somewhere... Tell you what, as soon as Captain Cyborg perfects the in-brain ID chip, we'll give it our full backing.
Speaking of the Professor:
In re Captain Cyborg and his chipped brain:
He's no need to wait. I've got a Pentium 75 with the divide bug which I'll happily ram right into his brain as hard as he likes, right now. That'll make him sit up and take notice.
Interesting point, actually; as the p75 has a divide bug, it could be used as a "control" experiment. We could ram the faulty chip into his brain (or into any other suitable orifice, actually), and then get him to catch a ball. Were he using the floating-point of the Pentium he'd miss, and if it made no difference it'd be obvious that the chip had made no difference.
All assuming he's competent enough to catch a ball in the first place, of course.
Ahh, so Dick Cheney really is a robot, err, cyborg. I guess the Weekly World News stands vindicated. This also explains much about American foreign policy of late: Dick Cheney is declaring war on humanity. Luckily, I know just where to find the terminator. He lives in a big house in Sacramento these days.
I misread that as Captain Cyborg risk to all for science :)
Works for us as an alternative headline...
Football loving Reg readers, brace yourselves. This is going to smart:
How many England fans would really want to kick the ball?
Unless they want to prove they are better than Beckham at Penalties.
However I am sure a tour by the ball of Scotland, Wales, Ireland, N. Ireland could be a decent fund raiser :-p
Yes, well, thanks for that insight, Niall. Moving swiftly on...
A quick clarification on the question of Mercury's magnetic field:
A small point perhaps, but Mercury's global magnetic field isn't as uncommon as you suggest. It isn't the only planet apart from Earth to have a global magnetic field, but it is the only 'terrestial' or 'rocky' planet apart from Earth to have one (the terrestrial planet being Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars). All the other planets in the solar system that have been visited by spacecraft (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus Neptune) also have magnetic fields. So the interest in Mercury's magnetic field isn't because it's unsual for a planet to have one (far from it), it's because we don't know how it's generated.
Cor, just as well Anthony listed the rocky planets for us: we were planning a hiking trip on Uranus...hee hee hee...[You're fired - Cheap Sexual Innuendo Sub-ed]
So, the Mega patch has landed:
I am viewing this in an un-patched version of Internet Explorer because the story makes Firefox crash. To be fair there's several lines on The Register causing this. Dunno why - possibly the adverts - but it's ironic. no?
I came to a client site this morning to find the main Active Directory server at the "Preparing to Shut Down Windows" screen that it's been at for about a day. They apparently had AutoUpdates enabled and the last entry I saw in the EventLog was windows will restart in 5 min........... the exchange machine followed suit and crapped out as well.
Wondering if it's an isolated incident......my client would like to know too
Looking for silver linings in viral clouds:
The upside of this story is that it shows us that one person can make a difference in this great big world.
And the "Glass Half Full" award goes to...
A staggering 99 per cent of viral activity in the first half of this year can be linked to just one shoddy, bloated OS (in its various incarnations). The computer worms continue to spread despite the fact that the OS vendor pledged to not improve security by creating marketing terms like "trustworthy computing", and not reduce in any way the spead of these viruses and worms by trying to distract hackers with talk of improving support for "smart cards" devices to replace passwords.
Hmm, that is the "Glass Half Empty" award, then...
In the tradition of all "And finally" stories, we'll leave you with a few of your ideas for other ways to test the duability of memory cards:
What you need to use is an arc welder; I've got some videos I made of one being used on an old hard drive, but don't have it on me. If you want a copy, reply and I shall go dig it up.
In reference to your recent article, I've even had my CF card chewed relentlessly by a determined K9. It didn't seem to work afterwards, until I removed the metal casing (it seems the impacted casing was shorting several connections inside the card). With the casing removed, the card continues to function to this day. Oh yeah, the same card has been through the was and dry cycle several times.
It's all an evil plot to find the best format for ID cards. After all, having an ID card with a zapped smart chip is going to inconvenience Mr Blunkett and his minions because they won't be able to identify you on the spot.
I assume the 6 year-old calmly returned the card explaining to the deluded reporter that it is unrealistic to attempt to create or destroy matter - the best achievable at home would be modified form.
I can also tell you the smartmedia survives being run over by a Ford Mondeo...... though the camera it was in didnt survive so well..
They've got that test all wrong; you need to tell the toddler to "look after" the memory card to guarantee it's destruction.
That's all for now. More letters on Friday, so keep letting us know what you think. As if we could stop you...®