Mac-addled Segway users crush the American Dream

Battery-powered pulpit on a cannonball run

Letters Our description of a young man trying to ride his Segway all the way across America may have bordered on brutal, but you readers took the criticism to the next level. Not one of you stood up for the mighty Segway - vehicle of dreams.

Is it really that sad to see a blogger on wheels crawling along the highway at 10 mph for 80 days? Apparently so.

In may, after 12 days of rather ass-destroying cycling (and the odd pint, I must add), I arrived at John o Groats in north east Scotland, with nothing but my beer belly, two pannier bags and a large number of mars bar wrappers, and entered the queue to have my picture taken at the famous sign.

Unfortunately, I, and a couple of other cyclists were somewhat unimpressed to see some guy in front was having his picture taken on the back of a Harley Davidson, as though 10 hours on the back of a motorbike was something you could tell your grandchildren about.

I figured that Britain's mere 1050 miles (we took a bit of an odd route) is for pussies, and have decided to attempt Seattle to Florida next year. You can probably imagine the opinion I quickly started to form on hearing about some ipod-waving moron-of-the-segway-generation prat who needs 18 mates and a support vehicle to take his battery powered pulpit on a cannonball run. Perhaps it's because of the 16 batteries he needs to carry (so much for the revolution), but I think we all agree that this guy is a bit of a wuss, and when people were telling him he should "get out more", this isn't exactly what they meant.

Regardless, if I do overtake the guy (presumably coming back the other way carrying a burnt out segway), I'll be sure to take the piss. That said, I'll be very interested to see how his scooter copes when he reaches the not-very-small and not-very-flat-either colorado mountains..

Keep up the good work,

Giles Constant

I think you're jealous. This project is so addle-pated that it beats out the various barmy London toilets, hands-up (as it were.)

Oh, and please consider adding the following to the list of hazards:

(1) Michigan weather in late September -- Rain, mud, grey skies, more mud, lots of rain

(2) Michigan hunting season -- (they'll just miss Firearms Turkey Season)

At least in the part of Michigan they indicate, I don't think they need to worry about 18-wheelers. Roads thereabouts aren't wide enough.

Richard Conto

Sick curiousity took me to the 10Mph team's site. Obviously a group of Mac users.

I took a close look at their Itinerary/Route and note that they hope to be in Akron, Ohio on October 2 and Youngstown, Ohio on October 3. Ashlee, I do beleive that Darwinism will kick in in one of those two God forsaken cities and their yawn inpiring journey will come to an abrupt end in some terrible geek bashing incident. I have seen stronger men then these broken by the city of Youngstown.

If this does happen, it will have the unfortunate side effect of giving them the headlines they so desire. On the downside, martrdom usually has a way spurring people and things into popularity. An untimely end to the quad crackers (they are not four white-toast yuppies) may spark a Segway revolution and sales could go threw the roof. So, it hard to decide whether to hurl stick or stones or to protect them to guarentee their inevitable fade into history.

One thing is for sure, I hope they stay out of my neighborhood, I don't want to deal with the traffic jam they will create.

Colman Lalka

From the "Team" section of their web-page, re Hunter:

"... mastered a niche in Corporate America working as an electronic marketing expert with experience in web development, SEO, and email marketing."

That would mean that if, for whatever reason, you want to "follow" the "progress" of this shit, you are expected to give your name, e-mail etc. to a fucking spammer? Bastards.


"Our dream is to produce content. So they work well together."

It's official, the American hero and wanderer is now dead. In a past not-so-long ago they would have hopped on a vehicle (anything would do) and hit the road for fame, fortune, and adventure. To hell with a schedule or destination, the trip was the point. Then they'd get back home, write a book, exaggerate profusely, and be done with it.

Even not-quite-so-long-ago adventurers would wander far and away on novelty vehicles ranging from scooters to bicycles to skateboards. The point was they left on the vehicle to see if they could make. it. Not to "survive" a pasty pablum experience with the luxury of a support vehicle, sixteen batteries, a team of helpers, a webcam and a text messager every ten minutes to update you on their progress past mile marker 457.

In the good old days these guys would have been turned into a Monty Python skit about twits on parade. Now these soulless apparatchiks lay claim to the spirit of adventure, and really only show what happens when a coddled surburbanite decides to show off his toys.

Really impress me? Hop on a bicycle with a knapsack, sleep on the road, and show up five months later with enough life lived to make a movie about it. Don't sell me "content." As it is I feel like asking the stop the planet of the apes, I want to get off!

And I bet they're Mac users, too.

Scott Peterson

They better have the ability to take a joke. Very sharp comparison to the big boys of "discovering America" literature and sport (Although the testicle comparison was a bit low. Funny, too. Leads to the question whether Josh would give a nut to complete the journey...). You notice they are staying well above the hot regions of the country? A few weeks ago on my way back from the Death Ride (<> I drove through Death Valley and ran a few steps with Pam Reed and Bruce Gungle, people I knew in this year's Badwater 135 (<>). In Badwater, the crew members take turns running along with the runners in 110-120 degree heat, supplying them with goodies and keeping them company. I really think the support crew needs to take turns running along side Josh and the Segway in the spirit of comradery, handing him beverages and food as he battles the rigors of standing.

Keep up the commentary on absurdity,

Ross Z

Don't you just love the way all the promotional tee shirts available on their (woeful) site default to size XXL.


Barney Light


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