This article is more than 1 year old
eBayer punts Virgin Mary in grilled cheese sandwich
Toasted simulacrum madness
Ever had one of those momemts when a crucifix was not enough? When a christingle couldn't cut it? When you wanted to show your faith in a tangible, unequivocally ecumenical way?
Well, the answer is at hand! Prove your piety by purchasing the world's tastiest holy relic, the Virgin Mary in Grilled Cheese, currently at the low low price of $99,999,999.
The seller has provided irrefutable proof of divine provenance:
I made this sandwich 10 years ago, when I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I was in total shock, I would like to point out there is no mold or disingration, The item has not been preserved or anything, It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special one that seals out air or potiental mold or bacteria, it is like a miracle, It has just preserved itself which in itself I consider a miracle, people ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home, I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 (total) on different occasions at the casino near by my house,
Clearly the Madonna has decreed that gambling shall no longer be held as sinful as well as exercising divine powers over the forces of corruption, including cheese-eating fungus.
The seller warns against foolish consumption of Our Lady, however:
I would like all bidders to know that this item is not intended for consumption, it is intended for collectable purposes only
All bidders must be pre-approved by the seller, presumably after undergoing a gruelling test of their faith via email. ®
Thanks to Rob Griggs-Taylor for his pious powers of observation.
A further sighting has been reported. Truly the Day of Judgement is at hand, for we are entering a time of great portents.
Thanks to Chris Priest for showing us the way.