On Call Choose Your Own On Call
18 Jun 2021
We don't know why it's there, we don't know what it does – all we know is that the button makes everything OK again
On Call It must be working, look at the LED
11 Jun 2021
Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance
On Call You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
04 Jun 2021
The server is down, money is not being made, and you want me to fix what?
On Call The sound of silence? No, no, it's stupidity
28 May 2021
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? Detroit waits for my order, you'd better make amends
On Call I've worked hard all day on-call... you drive me round the bend
21 May 2021
Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken
On Call Because now you have a bill to replace all these perfectly functional devices
14 May 2021
The swift in-person response is part of the service (and nothing to do with the thing I broke while trying to help you)
On Call I'll talk you through the steps... oh sh-
07 May 2021
Can't get that printer to work? It's not you. It's that sodding cablin.... oh beautiful job with that cabling, boss
On Call Goodbye, Mr Chips
30 Apr 2021
George Clooney of IT: Dribbling disaster and damp disk warnings scare the life out of innocent user
On Call Practical jokes: just don't
23 Apr 2021
To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user
On Call Not quite what we meant by 'disk capacity'
16 Apr 2021
For blinkenlights sake.... RTFM! Yes. Read The Front of the Machine
On Call Before smartphones and LCD displays there were... green lights and red lights
09 Apr 2021
Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem
On Call Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?
02 Apr 2021
Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy
On Call I can indeed make things magically disappear if I shout loudly enough
26 Mar 2021
From Maidenhead to Morocco: In a change to the scheduled programming, we bring you The On Call of Dreams
On Call Here's looking at you, kid
19 Mar 2021
Don't be a fool, cover your tool: How IBM's mighty XT keyboard was felled by toxic atmosphere of the '80s
On Call The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of forty thousand... cigarettes?
12 Mar 2021
I haven't bought new pants for years, why do I have to keep buying new PCs?
On Call Friends and family tech support meets steam-powered computing
05 Mar 2021
A word to the Wyse: Smoking cigars in the office is very bad for you... and your monitor
On Call A matte-black terminal? Neat! Where can I get one?
26 Feb 2021
The wastepaper basket is on the other side of the office – that must be why they put all these slots in the computer
On Call Wow, this PC is hot stuff... actually it might be a bit too hot
19 Feb 2021