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Give me $50k or the rabbit dies

Chilling net extortion demand

Toby: sentence of deathThere are times when we at Vulture Central try our best to avoid reporting on the more distasteful aspects of the internet, but when reader pressure eventually demands satisfaction. This is one of those ocassions, and it with barely disguised horror that we announce the intention of a US man to kill and eat an innocent and highly photogenic rabbit unless netizens cough up $50k by 30 June.

Yes indeed, welcome to

Toby is the cutest little bunny on the planet. Unfortunately, he will DIE on June 30th, 2005 if you don.t help. I rescued him several months ago. I found him under my porch, soaking wet, injured from what appeared to be an attack from an alley cat. I took him in, thinking he had no chance to live from his injuries, but miraculously, he recovered. I have since spent several months nursing him to health. Toby is a fighter, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, on June 30th, 2005, Toby will die. I am going to eat him. I am going to take Toby to a butcher to have him slaughter this cute bunny. I will then prepare Toby for a midsummer feast. I have several recipes under consideration, which can be seen, with some pretty graphic images, under the recipe section.

Chillingly, the monster behind this outrage then does indeed indulge in a veritable orgy of rabbit recipes, including Hassenpfeffer, Lapin Braisé and Moroccan Hare Tagine.

To further press home the point, we are then subjected to the gallery. Those readers whose grannies favour calandars featuring cheeky kittens peeping out of wicker baskets will get the idea.

Which is, of course, not new; simply a cybertake on the old "buy this record or the puppy gets it" gag, traditionally accompanied by a snap of a whimpering dogette with a gun to its head. The difference in this case is that Toby's would-be executioner has to date raised an amazing $24,515. Smart stuff, because if animal lovers don't get their skates on, this maniacal Tobycidist will get to pocket the cash and enjoy Rabbit Coq Au Vin. Hmmm... tasty. ®

Important announcement

Yes, yes - we know it's a hoax, we know it's been around for months, blah, blah, blah.

Those enraged rabbit lovers who have written to express disgust at our apparently straight coverage are directed here.

And if that doesn't work, try this:

There's a joke coming you idiot!


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