Skype honeypot snares dirty IMers

Hot bloke-on-bloke chat action

NSFW Imagine this entertainment scenario: you create a female Skype profile and activate it in "Skype me" mode. Within a few minutes, IM pervs begin to sniff around your honeypot. What they don't know, though, is that they're being set up by a programme which partners two horny male IMers for an intimate conversation - one of whom thinks the other is a hot babe gagging for cybersex.

We can blame this wag for the Skype sex trap. The programme logs all of the captured IM conversations, and the author admits: "Because this is a completely automated process, everything's included, and some of these logs/messages might actually be rather boring."

Well quite. The solution, then, is for another enterprising bloke to set up a website to extract the choice highlights of these hot bloke-on-bloke chats:

Just met some Handsome Knight on Skype and want to see if he gets around? Fancy having a luagh [sic] as 2 guys try to cyber with each other? Have a sneaky feeling your boss is using Skype for more than just business calls? Then this site is for you :)

Hmmm. We reckon that what people get up to in the privacy of their Skype account is up to them. Alright then, we don't really think that, because here is a lovely example of what happens when you put two chaps together and one one thinks that the other is a chapess:

OM: hi
SR: i would like to chat with
SR: u
OM: me too babe
SR: i am XXXX from india
OM: i hope u have cam
SR: yeah
OM: do u have msn?
SR: r u m/f?
OM: m
SR:: o sorry i too male
SR: bye
OM: fuck off and change your sex
OM: u are not female
OM: you are a male
SR: i have to told u that idiot
SR: check u r profile
SR: it is writen as a female
SR: u sonof bitch
SR: fuck off

Pretty much what you'd expect - frustration and indignation resulting in swearing. For pure surreal entertainment, though, try the following which, you should be warned, contains explicit references of an sexual nature and strong language from the start:

MK: bitch
BL: me or you?
BL: sorry i took so long to reply
MK: it's ok
MK: where are you from
BL: newcaslie
MK: ok
MK: what's your name
BL: XXXX
BL: whats yours?
MK: XXXX
BL: (mm)nice name
MK: fuck you
MK: you are gay
MK: a
BL: fuck you too
BL: no im not gay!!
MK: how old are you
BL: 26
MK: do you hae a girlfriend
BL: no
MK: why (you'r not gay)?
BL: donno
MK: when was the last time you had a girlfriend
BL: 6 months ago
MK: are you working somewhere?
BL: no i work from home
MK: what?
BL: i'm a stone maison
MK: i don't understand
MK: what is that
BL: why did you say that i was gay?
MK: i was just kiding
MK: sorry
BL: i carve stones like marble and granite
BL: thats ok
MK: thats only job you have?
BL: yes
MK: ok
BL: what about you?
MK: what about me
BL: where are you from?
MK: i'm from erbia
MK: serbia*
BL: ohh
MK: ?
BL: and what is it that you do
MK: i'm 18
MK: i still go to high school
BL: oh right
MK: e
MK: why didi you put this picture here
BL: what the one on my profile?
MK: yes
BL: so that people could see me
BL: what about the one thats on yours?
MK: ma bezveze
MK: nisam znao sta drugo da stavim
MK: :))
MK: i don't speak english very well
MK: i didn't know what else to put
MK: so I put that one
BL: sorry didn't understand that!!
MK: :)
MK: i know
BL: can you tell me what it means please?
MK: it means that i have big dick
MK: haha
MK: i'm just kidding
MK: it doesn't mean enything
BL: ????
MK: what?
BL: it must mean something?
MK: what your picture means?
BL: so is that you in the picture?
MK: what fo you think?
BL: donno
MK: thats me
BL: with your mouth wraped round that dick?
MK: ??
MK: explain that
BL: the picture that i can see is of a woman sucking a dick?
MK: thats you
BL: no
MK: yes
BL: no it isn't
MK: then who is it
MK: it's not me
BL: are you a bloke?
MK: what's bloke?
BL: man??
MK: axa
BL: axa??
MK: and you?
MK: ?
BL: i dont know what axa means
MK: you'r female
MK: ?
MK: it means yes
BL: no
MK: what are you
MK: on your profile is a woman with a dick
MK: i aksed you and you told me that you put it so people could see you
MK: hey'

Good Lord. To be fair, if we found out that our Skype chat was being intercepted and posted with our Skype IDs on a public website, we'd probably call round to the perpetrator for some real hot bloke-on-bloke action - and we mean the kind that definitely does not involve dressing like someone from the Village People. ®