First Apple came for the bloggers. Now they've come for ... the Nigels.
Although Apple allows punters to personalize iPods bought at its online store, it operates a bizarre discrimination policy, a Register reader has discovered.
If you want to engrave it with your name, you had better not be called Nigel. Or Nige. The text is rejected as "Inappropriate".
It's not the first example of bizarre censorship from Apple. The company's online music kiosk lumped Miles Davis in with gangsta rappers by preventing browsers from seeing the full title of his 70s classic Bitches Brew.
But there's good news if you're a pervert. You can proudly engrave your iPod with the words "Paedophile" or "Nonce" - positive discrimination, perhaps? - while "Mofo", "Bumwipe" and "Arse Candle" are also cheerfully accepted.
Sparing you the usual "Apple declined to comment", we turned instead to the excellent Unofficial Apple Weblog, where readers confirm that racist and sexual keywords are typically banned.
"Makes a lot of sense of you think about it," writes one fan, defending the policy. "If Apple allowed such words/profanity the value of their products will go down."
Quite so - but popular forenames, too? Is an iPod engraved with a "Nigel" really worth less? The Nigels of the world must unite and stand firm. Or before we know it, Apple will be coming after the Kevins. ®
(Thanks to reader Nigel Gamble for alerting us to this).