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'Replace CEOs with cans of beets'
Dress good, or become Gateway
FoTW Just to prepare you all for the joy that lies ahead later this week when we publish the complete Stern Response mailbag, I've decided to issue this flame in its full, unedited glory. Now you know what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Hey, shit for (what might be) brains, maybe we dont like your dress code. Maybe what you're whining about in your own 12 year old girls way IS our dress code.
We like it. If you dont like it, go work at Mcdonalds, they have a uniform that'll please you to no end. And, you can look just like everyone else.
I put in 78.3 hours per week last year acording to year end hr reports, ended up schlepping around losers systems about 60% of the time while the rest was remotely removing adware, spyware, malware, and of course flash games from your corporate dillhole executives. Oh, and porn, never forget those late night executive collaberations wher porn mysteriously fills disc quota.
We told you in '99 where to stick your dress codes, just like we did in '96, and we'll tell you again now.
Fuck off dipshit
Executives graduate 400th in their classes every year, have virtually no true productive value (aside from scheduling or at least having their assistants schedule meetings to talk about meetings), can be replaced by a can of beets, are so grossly overpaid (even they have to leave the room at evaluation time), and lastly cant log into the domain without a cribsheet.
If you try to live without a geek, you'll have a Gateway Computers stock scandal, $70+ per share to 6+ per share in just a quarter after management dropped their geeks in favor of a more corporate styled format.
If oyu try to live without executives, well, not only is your company going to make more money, but your employees (the working ones, including ggeeks,) will just make more money , have better attitudes and get better parking.
So instead of touting the same old "Oh, but their so nonconformist" crap;
scrag a middle manager, make the world a TRULY better place.
Wee Nac Macfeegl
So there. ®
Otto Z. Stern is a director at The Institute of Technological Values - a think tank dedicated to a more moral digital age. He has closely monitored the IT industry's intersection with America's role as a world leader for thirty years. You can find Stern locked and loaded, corralling wounded iLemmings, nursing an opal-plated prostate, wearing a smashing suit, spitting on Frenchmen, vomiting in fear with a life-sized cutout of Hilary Rosen at his solar-powered compound somewhere in the Great American Southwest.