We've said it before and we'll say it again: what on Earth is happening to the world's pensioners? Time was, your dear old grandpa would be sitting in a fireside chair, dispensing wisdom and Werther's Originals in equal measure while wrapped in a tartan travelling rug, faithful Labrador asleep at his beslippered feet.
Not any more. Regular readers will recall the recent cases of the 75-year-old Russian who stumbled onto the set of a porn flick and quickly shot his way to screen rumpy-pumpy superstardom, and the "72-year old cross-dresser... charged with public indecency after being caught pleasuring himself in a library".
And let's not forget the the 70-year-old Italian strumpet caught trying to have sex with a 59-year-old car driver while he negotiated a Milanese highway.
Over in Lithuania, meanwhile, battling old timers prefer to burn off their excess energy by giving burglars' testicles a good seeing to - and we don't mean in the prosecution of a blue rinse smut flick, either.
Ditto Romania, where a 75-year-old woman recently floored an intruder with some sharp karate moves she picked up on a TV self defence show.
According to Ananova, Anica D from the village of Popeni in Vaslui county woke up to find her self being assaulted by the night-time ne'er-do-well. She shouted for help, but none was forthcoming.
Accordingly, she "immobilised" the assailant and then called in the authorities, Romanian paper Ziarul reports.
The 30 year old miscreant has been charged with burglary and attempted rape, although it's clear he can count himself lucky to escape with his vitals intact. ®