NZ 'definitely not for sale'

Ocker* tries to flog God's Own on eBay

An Australian man, obviously a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock, tried to flog off Aotearoa* on online auction site eBay.

Bidding started at just one cent, and 6,000 hits and 22 bids later, only AUS$3,000 was offered for the "half gallon, quarter acre, pavlova paradise" before eBay pulled the auction.

"Clearly, New Zealand is not for sale," eBay Australia spokesperson Daniel Feiler told the New Zealand Press Association. "It is mostly household items we have for sale, but there are the occasional quirky items put up. We have a look at them and if they are OK we leave them, but if it is something that can't be sold, we take them off."

The entrepreneurial Aussie galah*, who has not been identified but is believed to reside in Queensland, had visited Auckland once. His advertisement said the country had "very bad weather", and he criticised "the dodgiest America's Cup win ever", Sydney Morning Herald reports.

Us Kiwis are used to Ockers* trying to steal our lot - pavlova, Split Enz, Sam Neil, and Russell Crowe, to name a few.

But even for a nation of convicts, their latest attempt at a land grab rates as the biggest case of green eyed monster we've seen yet.

But not all in New Zealand could see the funny side. Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters told TVNZ: "I don't think it's fun. I think that kind of nonsensical stupidity, I'll leave to the tabloid media. "

Crickey mate. Chill out. God's Own piece of real estate is still in safe hands. ®

*Editors note:

A Queen's English translation of this story will appear here shortly