WSA Flying British Airways these days can be a perilous affair, and no messing. First up, you're in the Heathrow VIP lounge when Snoop Dogg and his entourage kick off, then no sooner have you settled into your seat than some booze-fuelled Swedish clotheshorse starts giving it the "don't you know who I am?" treatment.
Yes indeed, the latest perfectly-formed face to appear in our burgeoning catalogue of battling supermodels is Marzena Kamizela, who allegedly bit a BA stewardess on a flight from London to New York after "shouting, trying to grab wine and dancing on her seat", as the Manchester Evening News puts it.
Mercifully for those on board, her fellow passengers included Manchester City full back Danny Mills who - in response to a crew request for assistance - helped restrain the crazed Scandinavian. An evidently-shocked Mills explained: "We were astounded by the way this woman was behaving. We had to hold her down so they could apprehend her and tie her to her seat."
Suitably disabled, Ms Kamizela was then invited to spend time as a guest of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who removed her from the aircraft at the RAF base in Goose Bay to which the pilot had made a detour. The supermodel-free flight eventually arrived in New York three hours late.
A Mountie spokesman said: "A 32-year-old woman, who is a Swedish citizen, was arrested for alleged offences under the Federal Aeronautics Act and other charges under the Federal Criminal Code."
Kamizela is, the Manchester Evening News explains, due in court today. If she's lucky, the Canadians will simply try to get shot of her as quickly as possible, preferably before she starts piling into her employees with a PDA. ®
Thanks to Manchester reader Colin Morris for the WSA tip-off.