Geek TV "Forward-thinking is part of Sci Fi's DNA," says Sci Fi Channel president, the bodaciously-named Bonnie Hammer. Roughly translated from Bonnie’s native Klingon, this means: "Geeks will be geeks".
Sci Fi knows that its viewers are emotionally troubled by switching off their PCs to watch ye olde television, so it's adding full "webisodes" of Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who to its online video-on-demand line-up. You need never log off again.
24 ubermeister Jack Bauer has gone one further by getting into Web 2.0. How does he find the time? From Monday, Murdoch-owned MySpace will sell episodes from Day 1 and Day 5 at $1.99 a pop. MySpace users hoping to make "friends" with Jack Bauer will be disappointed, however, the episodes are to be sold through Burger King's MySpace page. You read that correctly.
And now, sport. Few football fans would call themselves geeks, but let's look at the evidence. Positively autistic with excitement about statistics? Check. Apt to travel in clusters, wearing fantastical hats and makeshift cloaks? Check. Can't remember girlfriend's name? Check. The BBC understands the geek/footy interface, so it's made sure that it's HD Channel is up and running in time for the World Cup. If you're kitted out with HD-ready hardware, tune in for pictures so clear you can see Theo Walcott's facial bum-fluff flapping in the breeze.
On a less joyful tip, ABC has axed Invasion. Despite being scheduled right after Lost, Invasion saw US ratings drop from 17m to 9m over its first season. Shucks, that's only one and a half times the entire population of London. As is always the case with these things, there's an online petition doing the rounds, and new network The CW may help save the show. But as things stand, the final episode airs over here on Sunday 28 May. Meanwhile...
Five to watch this week:
Saturday 20 May: Doctor Who, BBC1, 6.35pm
Second half of the Cybermen two-parter, with Trigger's army invading London and turning everyone into robots. And this is a problem because...?
Monday 22 May: Fifth Gear, Five, 8pm
Not going out on Monday, are you? Good. (Still, there's always Sky+. If it's working. Mine broke again this morning. Ho hum.) A great TV night starts with Vicki Butler-Henderson strapping on her Bond-cam and spying on 007's new Aston Martin.
Monday 22 May: Inside a Gunshot Victim, Sky One/Sky One HD, 9pm
Quick! Get an HD-ready telly and gaze in glorious vomit-o-vision at oozing flesh wounds on a man shot seven times from point-blank range. He survived, because the shooter didn't aim for the head. D'oh.
Monday 22 May: Big Brother's Big Brain, C4, 11.05pm
Special guest psychologists look inside the Big Brother housemates' brains, and find wood shavings and bits of kebab.
Wednesday 24 May: How William Shatner Changed the World, Five, 9pm
In which Mad Shat explains how and why Star Trek is responsible for racial integration, mobile phones and the moon landings. YouTube Shat clip of the day: Shat Raps.