Don't even talk to me. First off, they kill TotP, citing competition from downloads, ringtones and happy slapping. The death of the show that gave us Billie Piper is inevitable TV euthanasia, but it still makes you feel old and bald. Noel Edmonds is so traumatised that he's developed RSI in his elbow (don't start.)
Then we heard...oh, you know. The news. The Doctor Who news. The Big Bad Doctor Who News. Who fans will come round and remove my eyeballs with spoons if I give the plot away, so click here for the full spoiler-protected horror. Best make yourself a nice cup of tea first, lads.
But it's not all bad news. Cosgrove Hall Films yesterday announced that it's recreating missing eps from the unfinished 1968 Cyberman story, The Invasion. The black and white animation will be unleashed on DVD in November, which, in a shock turn of events, is just before Christmas.
None of this matters to the suits in the TV boardrooms, who are too busy playing "my digi is bigger than yours". The BBC has long blazed a trail for telly innovation, but it's currently hamstrung by its governors, who are busy figuring out whether live online streams are in the public interest.
While they dither, C4 steams ahead with live TV/net simulcasts of all its commissioned programmes, starting next Tuesday - adverts included. Late 2006 will see C4 launch its video on demand service, and US acquisitions like Lost may be added to the simulcast line-up. Even ITV is upping its digital game with a time-shifted version of ITV2, which should delight fans of Celebrity Wrestling: Bring It On. Again! Again!
Top five to watch this week:
1. Mindshock - Transplanting Memories Monday 26 June, C4, 10pm
Boffins wonder why transplant recipients sometimes take on their donors' personalities and food cravings. Genuinely perturbing.
2. Doctor Who, Saturday 24 June, BBC1, 6.45pm
Fear Her: The Tardis lands in Olympics-obsessed London 2012, where danger lurks in an ordinary East London house. That's just another day in E17 to me, pal. This ep was supposed to be written by great British polymath Stephen Fry, but he was too busy reading dictionaries.
3. 24, Sunday 25 June, Sky One, 9pm
4:00pm-5:00pm: Most people experience an afternoon lull at 4pm. They contrive extended fag breaks and wish it was time to go home. Not Jack Bauer. At 4pm, Jack discovers that ex-CTU agent Henderson (Peter "Robocop" Weller) has gone into the nerve gas business.
4. The Baby Mind Reader, Monday 26 June, Five, 9pm
Derek Ogilvie, eponymous telepath, has one of those receding hairlines that's too far gone to be covered up with a highlighted fringe. Shave it all off, Del. We'll all feel better for it.
5. Lost, Tuesday 20 June, E4, 11pm
Season three begins airing on ABC on 4 October, and will comprise 23 more episodes of twisty turny tangents. Further seasons of further twisty turny tangents will continue until ABC ends it all in, say, 2009. We suggest voting them off the island, one by one. Who goes? You decide!
Channel Four to air shows simultaneously online
Sony PS3 first to use HDMI 1.3
Tosh combines HD DVD, DVD and hard disk in one box
Hi-def time lag a killer for live events
Portugese football players in live World Cup snogging vid