Updated We at Vulture Central know only too well that eBay will pull without mercy any auction it considers is sullying the good name of the world's premier tat bazaar.
Indeed, this reporter has established a lucrative sideline in eBay auction killing, which is why this story is being written by his assistant while he takes a dip in his Olympic-size pool before enjoying the traditional pre-lunch massage - administered by a pair of Brazilian former Miss World hopefuls - followed by a cool mojito on the patio.
What's inexplicable, then, is why eBay decided to turn a blind eye to this this apparently innocent auction of a BMW E30 near-side electric wing mirror:
Although it's hardly the most inspiring pitch for a Beemer accessory, closer inspection of the accompanying photos reveals there's more here than initially meets the eye:
By the Lord Harry and Saint George! It's evident that while eBay does not consider the flogging of Cristiano Ronaldo suitable viewing for its customers, it's quite prepared to let innocent wing-mirror enthusiasts cop a right eyeful of raw dug.
Regular readers will, of course, remember the cases of the ashtray cleavage outrage and 19-in monitor scandal; both excellent examples of the reflectoporn genre which has been polluting the internet's crystal-clear waters for some years.
Given the explicit nature of this latest material, we feel that the time has come for the eBay censors to get a firm grip on naked vendors shamelessly flaunting their wares in the public domain. Accordingly, we have made our dossier available to the relevant authority (The Sun). ®
Yup, you guessed it: eBay has now pulled the auction. Time to pocket the fee, jump in the private jet and head for the Caribbean.