Sex game bloke traps modesty in padlock

Cue firemen bearing hydraulic cutters


A Kent man who got his manhood trapped in a padlock "after a sex game went wrong" had to be cut free by firemen, The Sun reports.

The unnamed victim, in his 50s, intially presented the coupling of padlock and pecker at his local fire station. They packed him off to hospital, but since docs "could do nothing", he was forced to return to seek expert help. Firemen eventually released the chap's wedding tackle using hydraulic cutters.

Using the key was evidently not an option, since the key hole had inexplicably been sealed with superglue. Accordingly, it took two-and-a-half hours to end his "eye-watering ordeal", during which the firemen involved in the rescue undoubtedly kept suitably professional straight faces.

A friend of the man from Margate offered: "God knows what he was up to - but he won't be trying it again in a hurry." ®


Keep Reading

Feds throw book at eBay execs who deny they had anything to do with cyberstalking of site's critics

James Baugh, David Harville hit with several new counts

Ex-eBay global intel staffers to admit they cyberstalked online tat bazaar's critics – who got pig heads, funeral wreath, and more in the mail

Four to plead guilty, accused senior bosses insist they weren't involved

Another eBay exec pleads guilty after couple stalked, harassed for daring to criticize the internet tat bazaar

Former cop admits conspiracy to tamper with witnesses, too

Lockdown bidder block shock: Overzealous parental filters on Virgin Media and TalkTalk break eBay for UK users

No-no-no-no-no! I'm going to lose my bid on the £7 horse mask, um, I mean important lockdown things I need

Trucking hell: Kid leaves dad in monster debt after buying oversized vehicle on eBay

Don't. Leave. Your. Laptop. Signed. In. Where. Children. Can. Reach. It

eBay users spot the online auction house port-scanning their PCs. Um... is that OK?

Updated Fraud is a big issue for etailer, but there are privacy and consent concerns too

eBay won't pass UK Digital Service Tax costs on to third-party sellers – unlike Amazon, which simply can't afford it

Stop sniggering, don't forget those 'indirect taxes' Amazon says it pays

Ex-eBay security execs among six charged with harassing, threatening bloggers who dared criticize web tat souk

Internal probe went all the way to the former CEO, CCO after 'smut, fake pig's head, more sent to couple'

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021