Alaskan man guilty of flogging seal penises

Illegally handled aphrodisiac 'oosiks'

An Alaskan man faces a possible one year's jail and a $20,000 fine after pleading guilty to one count of violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act, viz: flogging 100 fur seal penises, aka "oosiks", to a gift shop "that intended to sell the items as an aphrodisiac".

According to Reuters, Michael Richard Zacharof, "an Aleut and former tribal president from the Bering Sea village of St Paul", pleaded guilty to the charge under the law which "forbids the sale of any raw marine mammal parts unless they have been crafted into pieces of Alaska Native artwork".*

Assistant US Attorney Andrea Steward explained that "seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra". The gift shop in question catered for customers in Asia, who paid around $100 a pop for the oosiks. ®

Bootnote

*The first person to make a quip about how Zacharof could have circumvented the Marine Mammal Protection Act by simply carving the oosiks into novelty Aleut candlestick holders will be banned from reading El Reg for a year and fined $20,000.