Kung-fu monks can kick ass, but they can't reincarnate

While rappers lick standard-issue grapefruits

Comments Monks at the Shaolin Temple in China, highly incensed by an assertion by a Japanese internet user that a single ninja had once laid the smackdown on their greatest, have deployed a fearsome warrior lawyer (presumably trained to an equally high standard in both law and arse-kicking). They have demanded that the internet user "apologise to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did". We suggested a pay-per-view "Battle of the Titans" between the kung-fu monks and Japan's top ninjas. This is a match made in Heaven for the many thousands of you who daily debate the merits of the two sides, even if it does lack pirates.

Holy crap... Japans top ninja's vs Chinas Shaolin Monks WWF style melee'. It would be like reality mortal combat. Id would pay good money to see that. Someone set it up.

David

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More importantly, what has Chuck Norris got to say about all this?

Anon

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Erm..... I thought they were meant to spend their time practicing, meditating, eating rice and making badly dubbed movies... as well as other monkish stuff... not trolling internet forums looking for ninja wannabies to start fights with

M

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I'm not normally one for violence, nor for pay-per-view TV events (who the hell needs it these days when you have youtube and various other methods of getting things without paying? *winks*) but for an event like this I would quite happily shell out anything up to 50 quid to watch!

So many television programs try to depict people defending their honour or families honour but because naturally its on television you always take it with a pinch of salt even if it says its reality TV, but I feel a televised event like this hits the nail on the head for both entertainment and standing up for ones beliefs.

Although we try to move past it, violence and anger is in our nature, I say give people a legal way to settle their differences that can't be settled with words with nothing but their own person in a controlled environment. No guns, no weapons period, just what you were born with, THAT is honourable fighting, not being a coward by stabbing or shooting someone.

Jason "Foxdie" Gaunt

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Pirates could kick all their asses!

Niall

Arrrr, Niall.

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In a separate bout of Chinese lunacy, the PRC Government has banned reincarnating without first obtaining permission from an authority. Is China attempting to manipulate the succession of the Dalai Lama? No, it's clearly an extension of the one-child-per-family population control measures:

I think the analysis is wrong: they will use it as a trial for a new form of birth control. Stated simply:

- every foetus must apply (in triplicate) for a permit to be born, and

- appear (in person of course) before a committee to motivate his application, following which

- a nine month consulting period is imposed before reaching a final decision

If this is implemented with the ruthlessness only China and some other favoured trading nations of the US manage to do, it will put a stop to the population explosion instantly

Howzat?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson

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The point is: New Dalai Lama shows up? Throw 'em in jail for reincarnating without a license.

Joe Cooper

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The origins of re-incarnation in Tibetan budhism lies in a regal decree that land left without an heir after the death of the legitimate owner became crown property. This meant that the monastaries, nominally owned by the senior monk in residence, would be lost to the crown on his death. naturally the position, 'he's gone but he is coming back' neatly avoids such a consequence. Thus is could be seen that re-incarnation in Tibetan Budhism is an early form of tax avoidance planning.

Jack Adams

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Shouldn't they say you can only reincarnate five times under the terms of the license? Isn't that what passes for "fair use" or somesuch these days?

Seriously, though, I'd like to see what passes for evidence in a Chinese court if they declare someone has reincarnated without permission. I assume it's going to be a lot of talk. Maybe even some of that logic I hear so much about.

Eugene Goodrich

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What about the rest of us? Do we all need to get permits from the Chinese Gov incase Buddists are right. Any one of us could happen to be reborn in China, or dose it only apply to people Currently living in China. What about if they are planing reincarnation outside of China?

Also, how dose this affect Mail readers? Is reincarnation actualy a plan to sneek more imigrants in to the UK :-)

Anon