Kung-fu monks can kick ass, but they can't reincarnate

While rappers lick standard-issue grapefruits

One of America's oldest grocers has filed suit against a pair of rappers for "false and disparaging statements and depictions" of the company and its products. The duo produced a rap video in one of A&P's stores that featured them licking and urinating on vegetables. "At least one customer" was shocked and appalled, leading the company to sue for $1m. An appropriate figure, no doubt, though not all of you agreed:

surely if two students could afford to pay a $1million lawsuit they would not be working in a grocery store!

the video supplies its own evidence: its obvious he doesn't actually lick the produce, nor really pee on the veg, the logo is so blurry even when told its A&P logo you are hard pressed to make it out, and the store could be anywhere with no obvious signage. there are actually more details on their website, including how the store manager let them film there.

regardless of the outcome the real winners, once again, will be the lawyers, laughing all the way to the bank.

Anon

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The next Beastie Boys? White, middle-class.. Are they jewish too?

Simon

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Big deal. The food industry employs a lot of teenagers.

Teenage boys will always find disgusting things to do with food.

Life Tip # 36: Never eat food prepared by teenagers or prisoners.

Anon

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before i watched the video i would have thought it was just another corporation bullying them, but afterwards i think A&P are right for suing them.

Check their video at 00:39 that guy is not peeing, he is masturbating and spraying the merchandise with seminal liquid.

Yuck, would any of you buy or eat those afterwards ??

Anon

Gives new meaning to the phrase "up-and-coming rap artists".

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Salad tossers. If A&P's customers are so clueless they can't tell reality from a hype video does A&P really want them in their shop?

If I were the shop owner gaining all the exposure for free I'd be slappin the rappin on in store screens to enforce brand recognition - and slappin the rappers for not having done it sooner (that is of course after a deal on royalties).

A&P, go "Beet yourselves off" in a back room somewhere and while you're at it grow up and smell the veg....

Dave

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A&P have missed a trick here. Whilst I would not go so far as to call the rap "good", it is nonetheless quite endearing and entirely positive about the quality of the produce in the store and sends a valuable message to kids to eat their greens. They should have used this as a marketing ploy... rewrite some of the stuff, remove the mexicans / bitch / nasty shit stuff, slap a couple of disclaimers on it ("At no point were any produce defecated on..") pay these oiks a couple Gs each and hey presto, you've got a down-with-the-kids advertising campaign.

Matt Thornton

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Several readers questioned the accuracy of our claim that the red giant Mira was moving at about 150,000 times the speed of the average sheep, so we launched into a long-overdue and full-blown review of the official Vulture Central set of standards for weights and measures. With such logical and obvious measures as the grapefruit, the brontosaurus and the milliWales, it quickly found your favour.

One criticism: which "trillion" are we referring to for number of Brontosaurus' (Brontosauri?)?

Personally, I use "million", "billion", and "trillion" to read "mono", "bi", and "tri" respectively. Hence, "1e6", "1e12", and "1e18" (also called long-scale); however, the media have a distressing tendency to take the USA short-scale usage and use "1e6", "1e9", "1e12"...

Just need to make sure that I am quoting the length across the known universe accurately.

Ian Yates

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I never knew that Verity Stob was in fact Lester and Lucy!

Robert Ramsay

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But surely the Brontosaurus can't be an acceptable unit of measurement since Brontosauruses-es-es no longer exist and have been redesignated as Apatasaurii-ii-ii.

Anon

Oh dear, you're right. We'll also no longer be able to measure things in eohippi! We'll get the standards department on this right away.

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I have asked my employees to start utilizing these measurement standards as part of their daily reporting duties. I downloaded the text of the article and wrote a quick P&P, with proper credit given of course!

Only one of them questioned my motives... so sad, but so funny.

Thank you for making my day MUCH more entertaining.

Josh Hamilton

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Which hostelry do you frequent? I want some of that loopy soup!

Atilla the Hun (No relation)