Hugo Chavez rails against teen Bulgarian airbags

Breast implants join list of Yankee imperialist outrages

Hugo Chavez has slammed Venezuelans' growing penchant for celebrating their daughters' coming-of-age by stumping up for breast implants, Reuters reports.

The prez's countrymen/women have apparently developed quite a taste for western-style consumerism, and in particular coughing thousands of dollars for Bulgarian airbags which they flaunt with unashamed pride as twin examples of their affluence.

What's particularly offended Chavez, however, is that Venezuelans come of age at 15, which means thousands of señoritas queuing up to go under the knife before they've even grown out of their Barbies.

Chavez thundered on his weekly TV show: "Now some people think, 'My daughter's turning 15, let's give her breast enlargements.' That's horrible. It's the ultimate degeneration."

And speaking of Barbie, Chavez also had a pop at "Western-imposed consumerist icons such as Barbie dolls".

Chavez hopes that Venezuelans will repent their spendthrift ways and has "told his supporters to give away any extra goods they do not need, urging them to leave out in town squares items such as fans or refrigerators".

Some hope, we reckon, although we think we may have found a solution to the implant outrage. Were Chavez - who recently announced the country would shift its time zone by half an hour, apparently just to piss off the US - simply to declare that all Venezuelan females become 18 on their 15th birthday, he might find the whole thing less morally repugnant. ®