Ninjas battle invisible frogs in Hitler's San Diego bunker

And sex with hoovers can land you inside

An Australian man has been nicked for breaking into his neighbour's house and shagging his vacuum cleaner. DNA evidence allowed a conviction two years after the clandestine household appliance hanky-panky, but the perp escaped jail and was sentenced to 12 months' community service.

Now we know why Henry's smiling :P

Anon

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Obviously too much Blue Peter as a child. "a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove" I bet there was some 'Sticky Backed Plastic' in there too

Anon

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I bet it wasn't a Henry but the smaller, pink version - the Hetty.

Flashing her eyelashes at him, the poor innocent housebreaker.

She led him in to it with promises of being compact but still being able to outperform many others.

Why do the courts never listen to the victims of opportunist vacuum cleaners having their way with poor unsuspecting young males.

I can't buy the 'I was stoned at the time' rubbish - he wasn't so out of it as he remembered the rubber gloves.

Keith Turner

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I'd claim to have been taking every drug under the sun if I'd been fingered for that - just for credibility...

Cliff

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Who exactly in your Organ has the obsession with non-standard human sexual behavior, inflatable girlfriends, interspecies sex ..

Doug

Every last one of us, of course. We spend half the day trawling gutter sites for salacious piffle, and the other half making up more of it. We live for mentions of sex doll misuse, tackle-torching and dwarven nob-gluing. Okay, maybe that's just Lester. At any rate, we're all off to watch a midget wrestle a shetland pony in a tank full of butter. ®