A Nottinghamshire lad had a "birthday to remember" after a stripper turned up at his school, burst into his drama class and proceeded to flaunt herself like a two-buck hussy as shocked teacher and students looked on.
According to the Telegraph, the clothes-shedding strumpet was dispatched to Nottingham's Arnold Hill School and Technology College at the behest of the boy's mum, who also asked his teacher to film the event.
The stripper entered the classroom halfway through the lesson, and then, as a fellow pupil recounted to the Daily Mail: "She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn't been doing his homework. Then she put on some Britney Spears music and got out a collar and lead from her bag and told him to put them on.
"No one could believe it. Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times - once for each year - on the bottom with her whip. Then she took off some clothes until she was down to her bra and pants, pulled out some cream, put it on her buttocks and told him to rub it in.
"To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned - and when the cream came out she told the stripper 'That's it. That's enough'."
It apparently was enough for the honoured guest of this show, since he "ran out of the classroom while the stripper calmly packed her bag and left".
A spokeswoman for Nottinghamshire County Council said no one had been suspended and the police were not involved. She added: "We and the school are investigating into the situation."
And in case you're wondering what kind of parent would subject their offspring to this kind of humiliation, the mother in question told the school she'd actually ordered a gorilla "through an agency", but got the cream-loving dog-handler instead. ®