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BBC pinches hot new columnist from Microsoft
Sizzling secrets with Billy G
Bill Gates has used his own column at the BBC to unlock the secrets of how you too can become an unimaginably wealthy nerd whose sperm is craved by Chinese women.
You can read the full recipe here. It's insightful stuff, as the Microsoft chairman - who's being put out to stud next year - spreads his nuggets of wisdom before us.
But what set him on the road to genius Valhalla? "When I was pretty young, I picked up the habit of reading lots of books." Are you writing this down at the back?
The musings are timed to coincide with MS-backed groundbreaking report that reveals that there isn't enough science and technology talent in the UK. "Today and in the future, many of the jobs with the greatest impact will be related to software," Bill explains.
He writes: "If you look at the most interesting things that have emerged in the last decade - whether it is cool things like portable music devices [the Zune] and video games [Xbox] or more practical things like smart phones [Windows Mobile] and medical technology [his flying monkey cloning and cyrogenics bunker] - they all come from the realm of science and engineering."
Mandela-like humility, and a democratic approach to innovation are the keystones of his formula for fortune. "Software innovation, like almost every other kind of innovation, requires the ability to collaborate and share ideas with other people, and to sit down and talk with customers and get their feedback and understand their needs."
"Communication skills and the ability to work well with different types of people are very important," he adds. Bill Gates is, of course, a legendary raconteur.
In response to the BBC's move into business leader
PR expert opinion, El Reg has decided to up the ante with a special video webinar on the secrets of success from the important leather-bound office of one of America's A-grade entrepreneurs:
In conclusion: Any fool can quit. Don't be a fool. Stay in school. ®