Enraged vegan spitroasts Reg hack

Nasty case of irony deficiency

FoTW It was sort of inevitable really, but our recent revelation that vegetarians are in fact nothing more than fanatical, self-deceiving, protein-starved perversions of nature provoked a rather angry response from one Rachel Astill-Dunseith:

There is absolutely no scientific evidence in this mans dellusional and fatuous claims. He is clearly afraid of those who oppose him. Perhaps this is due to an imbalance of hormones due to his over consumption of dairy products. Should he have the bravado to target any other minority group in such a perverse way then he would be vilified but he feels that vegetarians and vegans are a safe bet. Well let little lester haines, he with the silly name stew in the vitriol of his own making. How my vegan children and I will laugh from our intellectually and compassionately superior platform as he dies a slow death as his colon struggles to expurge his over burdoned diet of meat and dairy products. Anyone with any nutritional knowledge is aware that his claims are as valid as saying that black is white. I can only presume that he has had so much time on his hands that he has found time to fabricate his inflammatory article. Perhaps lester would like to wave his arms about but he is too fat and stupid to do so shame!

Crikey, I bet you're a real laugh at dinner parties, aren't you?

Let's take this slowly, shall we? The "dellusional (sic) and fatuous claims" were actually made by Pravda. We can only assume our correspondent's failure to spot this is caused by a nasty case of irony deficiency provoked by spending too long sucking organic celery atop her "intellectually and compassionately superior platform".

In fact, the only proof to back Pravda's entertaining claims comes from the above email itself, viz: that meat-dodgers do indeed appear to have a "low boiling point".

As for the rest of the rant, we'll let it pass, except to say that it's a bit rich for someone with the surname "Astill-Dunseith" to have a pop about someone's else's moniker. 'Nuff said.

Now, If you excuse us, we're off for the traditional Vulture Central Friday afternoon barbie, this week rather excitingly featuring Thai rat flambé, Peruvian super guinea pig burgers and grilled German überrabit, all washed down with lashings and lashings of lovely beer. Cheers. ®

Bootnote

Important notice: No animals were harmed during the writing of this article.