Two robbers who decided to target a Sydney club picked the wrong night for their armed assault - a monthly meeting of bikers who duly whupped their asses.
The Southern Cross Cruiser Club was enjoying its get-together at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club last Wednesday when the masked pair, bearing blades and machetes, burst in and "yelled at patrons to drop to the floor as they emptied cash registers at the bar", as CNN puts it.
The bikers quickly entered from an adjacent room and laid into the master crims with tables and chairs and "pretty much anything that wasn't bolted down".
The club's night manager, Jim Webb, explained: "They thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes. They didn't expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables."
One of the ne'er-do-wells tried to escape through the club's service entrance, but was quickly apprehended. The bikers' leader, Jerry Vancornewal, said: "We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops."
The second perp ran straight through a plate-glass door and jumped from a balcony. Cops caught him a short distance away. Webb noted: "All he had to do was push the button and it automatically opened."
A third suspect, manning the getaway car, escaped after the bikers threw furniture at him, and has not been traced.
Vancornewal summed the whole thing up nicely with: "These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks. I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in."
The cuffed couple were later charged with armed robbery and "face disguised with intent to commit indictable offense", according to police. ®
In case you're wondering, the Southern Cross Cruiser Club's monthly knees-up involves drinking, cricket, football and, rather improbably, lawn bowling.