It's official: If you want to turn a woman on, ditch the Volkswagen Polo and get yourself a Maserati, which is 100 per cent guaranteed to get those vital testosterone secretions flowing.
That's according to research by psychologist David Moxon, who subjected 40 guinea pigs to recordings of the aforementioned cars' throbbing powerplants, plus those of a Ferrari and a Lamborghini. Having put pedal to the metal, he then collected saliva samples from the participants to measure testosterone levels, indicating the degree of arousal.
All the women tested showed "a significant increase in testosterone secretion after listening to the Maserati, compared to only half for men", as the Telegraph puts it. The chaps, meanwhile, found the Lamborghini rather more exciting, with 60 per cent pumping out more testosterone.
The Volkswagen, sadly, actually provoked a decrease in arousal across the board.
Moxon, who carried out the research for insurance outfit Hiscox (yes, we know), said: "We saw significant peaks, particularly in women. The roar of a luxury car engine does cause a primeval physiological response." ®
Someone at El Reg, who shall remain nameless, recently acquired a Maserati, and we now have an explanation for the sharp and sudden increase in sexual promiscuity in his previously sleepy and conservative corner of Blighty.