The Advertising Standards Authority has ordered Combat Survival Inc, trading as Commando Krav Maga, to stop claiming its main man Moni Aizik is a terror-busting, "Ex-Israeli Special Forces Commando" human death machine.
For those of you not au fait with what experts in doing other people bodily harm apparently consider "the most devastating fighting system in the world", it's an Israeli-developed damage-dispensing discipline "based on simple and reflexive moves" which allows you to "defeat attackers (even multiple attackers) armed with knives, guns, bottles, sticks, baseball bats etc" and "debilitate your opponent immediately irrespective of his size, training background or experience level".
Well, that didn't intimidate the ASA, which took exception to a magazine ad punting Commando Krav Maga which contained the text: "MONI AIZIK *Ex-Israeli Special Forces Commando *World Renowned Combat Expert *Counter Terrorism Expert *Instructor to No Holds Barred World Champions".
The single complaint questioning these impressive credentials came from none other than the Central London School of Krav Maga, which "challenged whether the claims that Moni Azik was an 'Ex-Israeli Special Forces Commando' and a 'Counter Terrorism Expert' could be substantiated".
Commando Krav Maga brilliantly responded that "documents that related to Moni Aziks [sic] military experience and counter terrorism expertise were considered classified by the Israeli military and were not readily available". It stressed that "members of highly specialised units were not permitted to specify which unit they had belonged to or the duties they had performed; to do so would break the military code of conduct".
Confronted with this military wall of silence, the ASA noted that CAP Code clause 3.1 says advertisers "must hold evidence before making claims, which should be sent without delay if requested by the ASA".
It ruled the ad breached "CAP Code clauses 3.1 (Substantiation) and 7.1 (Truthfulness)", and proclaimed: "The ad must not appear in its current form. We told Commando Krav Maga not to repeat the claims."
Fair enough, although we can't help but feel this could have been settled "in-house" by the international Krav Maga community, with the Central London School dispatching its top deathmonger to check Aizik's credentials for himself.
The winner could then, of course, challenge either Chuck Norris or the Shaolin Temple kung fu monks in the Vulture Central's Arena of Death for the title of "Hardest Man in on the Planet - Ever!" ®