Free whitepaper: Prosthetic Penises in the Data Centre
Swedish transsexual men will as of 1 January next year be able to avail themselves of free prosthetic penises courtesy of their local health authorities - a move designed to offer former women the same kind of gender-bending support previously enjoyed only by their ex-bloke counterparts.
The Local explains: "While transsexual women have long been eligible for publicly funded wigs, breast implants, and hair removal operations, transsexual men have previously been without any corresponding cosmetic adjustment assistance."
Fair enough, you might think, but there's one fundamental flaw in the strapadictomy initiative - the plastic todgers are unable to achieve wood because of "regulations which prohibit the use of taxpayer money to pay for products or procedures considered to be sexual aids".
So, while it's fine and dandy to sport a "cosmetic" cock, one which might become hideously empurpled is classed as a sex toy, and therefore strictly off the freebie menu.
This doesn't much impress sexologist Cecilia Dhejne from Stockholm's Karolinska Hospital who, although agreeing the fake spam javelin giveaway is "an important step forward", said it's "pretty strange to approve prosthetics that can’t get erect, because that is after all what penises do - get erections". She added: "It would be appropriate to pay for those as well."
Immanuel Brändemo from Kim, a group which "advocates for issues related to gender, identity and diversity", agreed that transsexual men were getting "the short end of the stick" regarding "how the medical community and society view the challenges they face following sex change operations".
He said: “I know girls who even after the operation are met with resistance from their doctors who don’t think that they should have a sex life at all. They should be happy to have a sex organ that looks good. Transsexualism is seen as some sort of disability and 'handicapped' people are still not expected to have a sex life."
Transsexual men can, of course, stump up themselves for a fully-functioning prosthetic dick, like this inflatable wang (link NSFW), but they may find the €1209 price tag a bit stiff.* ®
*Thanks, you've been a lovely audience, I'll be here all week, etc, etc.