How to survive the crisis: Sell kiddies booze

Tesco shows the way forward

Those among you currently battling to survive the economic apocalypse ravaging the planet might perhaps take a lead from supermarket monolith Tesco, which has apparently decided on a controversial way to get extra wonga flowing into its tills:

We're obliged to Ash Ward for providing the shock evidence of how Tesco's Tenterden tentacle is staving off financial meltdown, although the long-term social cost of alcopop-crazed juveniles sticking decorated war veterans in supermarket trolleys and throwing them off the roof of the nearest multi-storey carpark has yet to be counted. ®

A note from our legal department

I have been instructed to stress that Tesco does not in fact sell alcohol to minors, and is actually wholly dedicated to making Britain and better place for our children and our children's children, etc, etc.