LametopsLaptops Direct offers free funerals

'Unique sponsorship package' for cash-strapped bereaved

April Fool Desperate times call for desperate measures, and UK computer outfit Laptops Direct today launched an initiative offering cashed-strapped punters the chance to give their loved ones the send-off they deserve:

Well, we suppose it's better than dumping granny's body in the street. Those of you with relatives about to pop their clogs are directed to Laptop Direct's "dedicated funeral assistant" at [e-mail]. ®