Australia's 'answer to the velociraptor' unveiled

Our dinos are hardest in world, claim Aussies


Australian media report that three "new dinosaurs" have been discovered at a "prehistoric billabong dating back 95 million years".

Aussie paleontologists have stated uncompromisingly that their down-under dinos would easily win in a fight with soft poofter aeons-dead antediluvian lizards from other, less fortunate nations.

In particular, Queensland Museum bone-botherer Scott Hucknall was keen to emphasise the superior prowess, in a hypothetical Jurassic Park style vatgrown DNA clone dinosaur Five Nations deathmatch ruck, to be expected from the frightful Australovenator Wintonensis. According to the Queensland Courier-Mail, this fearsome creature "has been dubbed Australia's answer to the feared Velociraptor". For reasons which remain unclear, A Wintonensis has been dubbed "Banjo" by the Queensland authorities*.

“The cheetah of his time, Banjo was light and agile,” Hocknull told the Courier-Mail.

“He could run down most prey with ease over open ground. His most distinguishing feature was three large slashing claws on each hand. Unlike some theropods that have small arms (think T Rex), Banjo was different; his arms were a primary weapon.

“He’s Australia's answer to velociraptor, but many times bigger and more terrifying.”

Another "new dinosaur", known as "Clancy", is beautifully described by the Courier-Mail as "a tall animal that may have been Australia’s prehistoric answer to the giraffe". And don't be touting yer hippopotamus either, mate: Australian "Matildas" were bigger, fatter and better in every way, sooner.

Queensland state premier Anna Bligh felt sure that the people of the world will soon beat a path to the prehistoric billabong site so as to worship the new dinosaurs of the land down under, incontrovertibly superior to the effete, limpwristed fossil species - and indeed modern animals or people - found elsewhere.

"The potential for educational tourism through their permanent display at the Australian Age of Dinosaurs Museum of Natural History in Winton, is enormous,” she said. "These discoveries are a major breakthrough in the scientific understanding of life in Australia." ®

Bootnotes

*The Queensland Museum states that "Banjo is named after the famous Australian poet Banjo Patterson [presumably Australia's answer to Shakespeare] who wrote Waltzing Matilda in Winton in 1885". Whether this is meant to hint at a poetic side to A Wintonensis or a somewhat dinosaur-like quality in Patterson's verse is impossible to know.

Thanks as ever to Mike Richards for the point at the Courier-Mail writeup.


Keep Reading

Tech Resources

How backup modernization changes the ransomware game

If the thrill of backing up your data and wondering if you will ever see it again has worn off, start the new year by getting rid of the lingering pain of legacy backup. Bipul Sinha, CEO of the Cloud Data Management Company, Rubrik, and Miguel Zatarain, Director of Global Infrastructure Technology at PACCAR, Fortune 500 manufacturer of trucks and Rubrik customer, are talking to the Reg’s Tim Phillips about how to eliminate the costly, slow and spotty performance of legacy backup, and how to modernize your implementation in 2021 to make your business more resilient.

The State of Application Security 2020

Forrester analyzed the state of application security in 2020 and found over 75% of external attacks are attributed to web application and software exploits.

Webcast Slide Deck | Three reasons you need a hybrid multicloud

Businesses need their IT teams to operate applications and data in a hybrid environment spanning on-premises private and public clouds. But this poses many challenges, such as managing complex networking, re-architecting applications for the cloud, and managing multiple infrastructure silos. There is a pressing need for a single platform that addresses these challenges - a hybrid multicloud built for the digital innovation era. Just this Regcast to find out: Why hybrid multicloud is the ideal path to accelerate cloud migration.

Top 20 Private Cloud Questions Answered

Download this asset for straight answers to your top private cloud questions.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021