NASA moon-bomb probe strikes rich seam of fruitcake

'As a woman I feel violated'


Those readers who've been following NASA's LCROSS lunar pole-prang mission, which saw a brace of spacecraft crash into the Moon's south pole earlier today, will be aware that the effort wasn't popular in all quarters.

In particular the self-styled "Chicago Surrealist Movement", claiming to speak for "surrealists, lunatics, astrologers, naturalists, anarcho-primitivists, Greens, werewolves, pagans, psychics, UFO groupies and other concerned members of the general public" launched an impassioned and beautifully written appeal to "Stop NASA Bombing the Moon!", which we enjoyed so much we reported it earlier in the week.

As a result we've had a good deal of reader feedback on the topic of moon assault, which we thought we'd share with you while the world waits for the results of the crater strike.

First up is Bill Fresher:

The moon is a huge water balloon. If they pop it with a bomb it'll burst, the water will fall into Earth's atmosphere, heat up on entry and turn to steam, which will cook us all. Please stop NASA.

He wasn't alone, either, with various observers backing the surrealists' possible belief that NASA might inadvertently cause major havoc with their crater strike. This might seem to be impossible given the bigness of the Moon, the smallness of the LCROSS, and the laws of physics - but there were those who disagreed. Greenstar perhaps summed up this point of view best:

Think of the planets in terms of forming a sentence. The Earth is a noun. The moon is a verb. Its very existance creates action in the tides, the weather, and possibly human mood. It's perfection of rotation sets into play all the components that make it possible for life here to exist and yet no life exists there. How is that possible? Wouldn't it seem logical for the earth to have a reciprocal effect on the moon - but it doesn't. The laws of symbiosis don't apply. If the moon is nothing more than a big rock then it can be cleaved like a big rock. Laws of mass and density don't apply nor do they offer us protection from the idiots at NASA who have never watched a diamond cutter. They are big boys with BIG toys and brains the size of a TRex AND are running the risk of making us all extinct.

Many noted the traditional association of the Moon with femininity. An individual known as "Jemmifer Scott" wrote in on this subject, saying:

as a woman i feel violated that NASA feel it's acceptable to bomb the moon.

i demand this is stopped. i think we should get an INJUNCTION against NASA.

And we received another splendid outburst from one "Martha Shepperd":

these are not treehuggers just consurrned citizens. the moon is not our property yet it helps us sustain ourselves. we dont own the moon! Why aren't core tests done before blasting it? blasting the moon could send it out of orbit which would kill us. Water would evaporate before being detected anyway. Either way you have no right to jepardize my kid's fate. the core of the moon could be ice and it would crack and send asteroids to us and throw the earth out of orbit. you do NOT have the right to decide it I will take that chance!

But it was left to Maty to ask the obvious question which had indeed already occurred to us at Vulture Central as well:

There are members of the concerned general public who are not werewolves, pagans or anarcho-primitives?

We here on the Reg luna-tic desk would suggest that no matter whether it finds water or not, LCROSS has been a huge success in terms of entertainment. ®

Similar topics


Other stories you might like

  • Experts: AI should be recognized as inventors in patent law
    Plus: Police release deepfake of murdered teen in cold case, and more

    In-brief Governments around the world should pass intellectual property laws that grant rights to AI systems, two academics at the University of New South Wales in Australia argued.

    Alexandra George, and Toby Walsh, professors of law and AI, respectively, believe failing to recognize machines as inventors could have long-lasting impacts on economies and societies. 

    "If courts and governments decide that AI-made inventions cannot be patented, the implications could be huge," they wrote in a comment article published in Nature. "Funders and businesses would be less incentivized to pursue useful research using AI inventors when a return on their investment could be limited. Society could miss out on the development of worthwhile and life-saving inventions."

    Continue reading
  • Declassified and released: More secret files on US govt's emergency doomsday powers
    Nuke incoming? Quick break out the plans for rationing, censorship, property seizures, and more

    More papers describing the orders and messages the US President can issue in the event of apocalyptic crises, such as a devastating nuclear attack, have been declassified and released for all to see.

    These government files are part of a larger collection of records that discuss the nature, reach, and use of secret Presidential Emergency Action Documents: these are executive orders, announcements, and statements to Congress that are all ready to sign and send out as soon as a doomsday scenario occurs. PEADs are supposed to give America's commander-in-chief immediate extraordinary powers to overcome extraordinary events.

    PEADs have never been declassified or revealed before. They remain hush-hush, and their exact details are not publicly known.

    Continue reading
  • Stolen university credentials up for sale by Russian crooks, FBI warns
    Forget dark-web souks, thousands of these are already being traded on public bazaars

    Russian crooks are selling network credentials and virtual private network access for a "multitude" of US universities and colleges on criminal marketplaces, according to the FBI.

    According to a warning issued on Thursday, these stolen credentials sell for thousands of dollars on both dark web and public internet forums, and could lead to subsequent cyberattacks against individual employees or the schools themselves.

    "The exposure of usernames and passwords can lead to brute force credential stuffing computer network attacks, whereby attackers attempt logins across various internet sites or exploit them for subsequent cyber attacks as criminal actors take advantage of users recycling the same credentials across multiple accounts, internet sites, and services," the Feds' alert [PDF] said.

    Continue reading

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022