A Florida flasher who allegedly exposed himself to two women explained to cops that his state of undress was due to an "explosive diarrhoea" incident.
Collier County deputies responded to a call on Monday that painter Todd Napodano, 42, stood up inside his white Chevrolet box-truck van in a Naples parking lot and "shook his hips" at the pair. Cops found him an hour later still naked and in "plain view" inside the vehicle.
In his defence, Napodano explained to officers his guts had exploded and he was "using his underwear to clean himself", as naplesnews.com puts it.
However, the sheriff's report notes that "upon examining Napodano’s underwear, deputies found no evidence of uncontrolled bowels". He was cuffed and subsequently charged with indecent exposure.
You can see Napodano's arrest card right here (pdf, page 4). ®