Exclusive As all the world knows, the Large Hadron Collider - the mightiest particle-punisher in the world and possible portal to other dimensions - is shortly to fire up again, following last year's catastrophic liquid helium superfluid explosion.
You can learn that much by following other media outlets like any ignorant drone. But you are a tech-savvy Register reader, which means that you can follow events at the LHC live as they happen on CERN's own web pages, which are mostly open for anyone to view - though rather hard to find.
We should emphasise that this is in no way due to any effort or goodness at Vulture Central. Rather it's the result of public-spirited efforts by Reg reader Chris Stephens. Just as amateur stargazers are usually the best source of information on top-secret spy satellites, enthusiastic LHC-watcher Chris is the man to go to for all the latest supercold superpowered superconductor supercollider news.
It was a tip-off from Chris, in fact, who had noticed climbing temperatures on part of the Collider's mighty magnetic ring, which enabled us to break the story of the baguette-bombing bird which temporarily scuttled the colossal machine two weeks back.
Inspired by having first caused a story to break on the Reg and then seeing it go global as it was shamelessly lifted without attribution by mainstream media outlets worldwide, Chris has now created an "unofficial" LHC portal with links to all the various fascinating CERN webpages, which are at the moment so little known.
In a superb twist, Chris tells us that the main users of the LHC Portal so far are in fact CERN personnel, who evidently find it the handiest way of navigating around their own websites. The portal is now linked to from at least one of CERN's internal sites.