An obsessive World of Warcraft player is suing the makers of the game for ruining his life, quoth a gleeful Grauniad this week.
Erik Estavillo is seeking $1m (£600,000) in damages, claiming the orc-tastic roleplaying game has turned him into a blank-eyed basketcase who can no longer function in the real world (as the lawsuit itself appears to prove). Having apparently become addicted to rampaging around some made-up mountains clobbering other collections of pixels with big clobbering weapons, Estavillo is calling pusher on the WoW developers, whom he accuses of "sneaky and deceitful practices".
Estavillo of San Jose, California, has further played a legal blinder by summoning sullen Depeche Mode songwriter Martin Gore to explain "alienation" to the court. Gore is a fine choice of expert in this regard, having penned a host of dead-inside yet catchy tunes such as 'Walking In My Shoes' for the long-lived electro-pop band, beloved of isolated Eastern European youth. He has furthermore spent upwards of two decades performing in the shadow of the far more attractive and less poodle-headed Dave Gahan.
The complainant has also subpoenaed the living heck out of petite, light-fingered actress and former Depp tattoo subject Winona Ryder. Presumably her love of JD Salinger's proto-emo classic The Catcher in the Rye qualifies her in his eyes to explain how the themes of alienation therein apply equally to such immersive games as WoW. See? Do you see?
Estavillo's wish list of experts is also believed to include* Radiohead keener Thom Yorke, the spirit of Karl Marx, eerily youthful emo shouter Jared Leto of 30 Seconds To Mars, and actress Sigourney Weaver, because she was on her own in the middle of space at the end of Alien wearing just her vest and pants and that kind of says something about... yes. [What about Camus? What about TheThe? Ed]
The Raniguad** explains that Estavillo's computer-induced alienation and concurrent litigation is by no means a new thing - he has previously filed suit against Microsoft (broken Xbox having caused undue stress), Sony (which banned him from its network and thus violated his right to free speech, he alleged) and Nintendo (which blocked some Wii software and ruined everything somehow).
We look forward to all this being over soon and for the sweet enveloping arms of oblivion to claim us. ®
* No it isn't.
** Yes, we know this isn't usually how this paper is referred to. What of it?