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Legless Lithuanian attacks copper with todger
'Evasive action' prevents spam truncheon injury
A legless Lithuanian who "assaulted a female police officer with his penis" has been fined £600 for his trouble, the BBC reports.
Marium Varinauskas, 28, got so rat-arsed that his girlfriend called cops to their Aberdeen flat. They arrived at 1am on 15 November "to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants".
Officers apparently sat down on a neighbouring couch, at which point Varinauskas decided to whip out his lethal weapon.
Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch explained to Aberdeen Sheriff Court: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."
He was cuffed and led from the premises in nothing more than his smalls, the Telegraph notes.
Defence solicitor John Hardie said of his client: "He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened."
He added: "He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."
A repentant Varinauskas, who's since quit binge drinking, pleaded guilty to assault. The court accepted his not-guilty plea on the charge of "committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks". ®