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Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha
Delphi in a Discotheque
Getting their XE-on
- Then the days of the year did swell as fat and yellow as the hairy goosegog on the bush.
- And it came to pass that the Sons of Kahn named the new version of Delphi unto the Users of Delphi. And it was not named 'Delphi 2011', nor 'Delphi 15', nor yet 'Delphi 14 Part 2' (for they had superstitiously skipped over version 13) but 'Delphi XE'.
- And the Users of Delphi knew not what 'XE' signified, although some claimed it was the name of a minor comedy robot who had appeared in a never-broadcast episode of Babylon 5.
- And at that time there appeared upon the Net a short film praising the virtues of XE.
- And the Users of Delphi looked upon the film, and were sore afraid.
- For some considered it a warning to time travellers against crossing one's own time line.
- Yet others took it as a demonstration of spontaneity using the Stanislavski system of acting: "Now Mike, one of the development challenges we keep hearing about is: how can I keep my productivity at a maximum while I manage the source code revisions of individual developers as well as teams?" "I'm glad you asked, David."
- But when they sought mention of the new cross-compiler, they found it not. So they returned unto the map of the road of Delphi, and saw its detail had slightly changed:
- Nobbled up-sell version of the third party profiler that thou already ownst;
- Support for another type of UML diagram thou dost not use;
- Slightly improved right-click IDE menu;
- Nobbled up-sell version of the third party diff tool that thou already ownst;
- Cross-compilation features held back for Delphi JT ('Jam Tomorrow', a comedy robot from Deep Space Nine's cancelled Season 8).
The Wrath of the Users
- Then the danders of the Users of Delphi assumed the up position. And they did gather at the newsgroup place called Nontechnical, which was their traditional place to gather when their danders were tumescent.
- For it was truly written of Nontechnical, that no son of man who visited there was ever embarrassed by dander flaccidity.
- And they cried out, one unto another: Let us smite the Sons of Kahn; yea, for it is the only language that they understandeth.
- Then the Sons of Kahn did look out in some alarm. And the giant David-Eye stepped forward saying, Let me handle this one.
- And David-Eye spake unto the mob of enraged Users of Delphi, saying: Hi. I'm David-Eye. I've been in this industry 30 years, and haven't things changed a lot? Next week I'm in Budapest. Come over and say hello.
- But the mob of enraged Users of Delphi calmed not.
- And the mob distributed among themselves the dangerous type of assegai that is called a 'pointer', and set fire to these pointers in the approved mob torching manner.
- Then there stepped forward from the Sons of Kahn a techie called Allenbauer.
- And Allenbauer spake unto the mob, saying: Come on guys, give unto us a break here.
- You know the map of the road doth fluctuate. Our cross-platform stuff isn't finished. Want ye another Delphi 2005?
- Let he who hath never slipped a project cast the first pointer.
- But at this perilious juncture I must lay down my stylus, without the usual clarifying observation from the great prophet M'andee-rice Davies.
- For I have reached the very present moment, and there is as yet no more to tell.
- Exciting, eh? ®
David-Eye's calming speech to the enraged mob of users appeareth by permission of its devisor, to whom many thanks - VS.