Football minnows Bulgaria face an uphill struggle in their forthcoming clash with England, because not only will they confront some of the most talented, hard-working and successful players in the history of the beautiful game, but their opponents will be clad in a new strip created by former Joy Division designer Peter Saville.
Saville made his name down at Manchester's Factory Records, knocking up record sleeves for Ian Curtis et al, and has now added "small red, blue, green and purple crosses to the shoulders of the white home shirt" of our soccer heroes.
According to the BBC, this reflects England's ethnic diversity. Saville declared: "Both the nation and the fans themselves are more diverse than ever before - whether that's differences in politics, religion, ethnicity, fashions, music and art.
"The landscape of England has shifted dramatically over the past couple of decades and we are now one of the most culturally diverse nations in the world."
In keeping with his alternative roots, Saville noted that his creation was designed to deliver a stiff Doc Marten to the 'nads of the BNP and similarly non-ethnically-diverse organisations. He said: "The reality of modern England is expressed in this pattern as it reclaims the St George's cross to positively represent our contemporary society."
Lovely. All that's missing here is Football Association confirmation that the new kit will replace players' names with the word "FAIL" in big red letters. ®