We at El Reg have always fancied our own navy, so we're seriously considering making a bid for the recently-decommissioned aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal.
The MoD is offloading the venerable vessel down at edisposals.com, along with Type-42 destroyers HMS Exeter, HMS Southampton and HMS Nottingham.
Anyone interested in snapping up the Ark Royal can have a shufti down at Portsmouth on 3 and 4 May, the BBC explains. However, the MoD is asking that you outline your "intentions regarding the vessel" before being allowed on board.
Some of the suggestions already in are to convert the vessel into "a commercial heliport, a base for security personnel during the London Olympics, or a school and nightclub".
In our case, then, we'd better scrub "to enforce British sovereignty over Rockall" and "to deliver cocaine to the Marshall Islands" and replace it with something similarly innocent.
We'd like to bring you more details of the auction, but the edisposals.com website has gone belly-up – presumably as a result of a mass boarding by those wishing to see the Ark Royal saved from the scrap yard. As and when it does resurface, the ship is apparently on sale here. ®