NHS Direct

Nurse, the screen...

Android App of the Week Welcome to the Age of the Weak. Got a sniffle? It’s Bird Flu not a cold. Don’t want to get out of bed in the morning? You're not workshy, you've got SAD.

To combat this pathetic malingering - or at least to stop it jamming up GPs' switchboards - NHS Direct is now available on an Android - iOS too - smartphone near you.

Now, what seems to be the trouble?

It gives you mobile access to the symptom checker that appears on the existing NHS Direct website.

Diagnosis starts from a basic set of problems such as abdominal pain, mental health or bites & stings. There are also sections for male and female sexual health problems - which, I suspect, will be the most commonly consulted.

Move further into each section and you will be asked for basic details such as the age and location of the patient. Further symptom-related questions are then posed with handy explanations along the way to avoid confusion. It's all straightforward and makes you wonder why GPs get paid so much.

Relax. I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts. Can you show me where it hurts?

At any time you can back-pedal through the diagnostic procedure in case you end up at a screen that says you’ve got less than an hour to live and decide you have been over-egging the pudding when it came to just how odd you feel.