A Russian diplomat was an epic 15 times over the drink-driving limit when he was collared by Polish cops on Sunday.
The unnamed cunning linguist drove erratically until he was stopped by cops in the Pomerania region, the Moscow Times reports.
Cops felt the foreign service operative was behaving in a "strange" manner, the Times adds, and decided to test him for being under the influence.
The reading came back to show the Russian had a blood alcohol level of three grammes per litre, or 0.3 per cent – described by police as staggeringly high. Poland's limit is 0.2 grammes per litre (0.02 per cent).
At that level, most people would have trouble even recognising an object as car never mind driving one. Assuming they hadn't already died. The UK drink-driving limit, by comparison, is 0.08 per cent.
A few rough calculations suggest each litre of the diplomat's blood was as boozy as a third of a shot of whiskey. Taken as a whole, the official's entire blood capacity was packing more alcohol than a glass of fine claret. And probably smelled, and looked, similar.
Despite this level of pissedness, Moscow's man had the presence of mind to claim diplomatic immunity. (Again, try saying that with three grammes of alcohol per litre of blood.)
Russia's foreign ministry had not commented as of yesterday, but this is no indication that they were at the same booze up as the diplomat. ®