The words "espresso" and "cappuccino" are too confusing for customers, says high-street retailer Debenhams. The department store chain will instead introduce moron-friendly descriptions, such as "frothy coffee", in its 160 cafes.
Out go several descriptions it deems too "fancy" - even "tall" and "grande" have been slung out, the retailer admits. Punters will be offered a patronising choice of a cup or a mug instead.
A few examples are here:
"Really really" patronising
Debenhams also denied it was covering transparent roof canopies in its stores to ensure shoppers are not "frightened by aeroplanes". (Actually it hasn't - we made that up. But we wouldn't be surprised if it did.) ®